Hey everyone, its Friday Shoegasm and its a Giveaway.
ZANDO have very generously sponsored 10 x R100 Gift Vouchers to Giveaway on my Blog to you beautiful Plonkers. Lucky or what?
Competition starts today and all you have to do is be a follower of my blog and leave a comment. Additional entries are a bonus (see the Rafflecopter form below).
ZANDO is South Africa's most comprehensive online fashion store. With both local and international brands, they offer excellent customer service, high-quality products and unique online shopping experience.
Established only last year, their goal is to situate themselves firmly in the SA e-commerce market as a well-respected company of hardworking employees who embody the youthful ZANDO spirit.
Go Discover their latest fashion trends and styles online at www.zando.co.za. They have everything in one online store: women's shoes, men's shoes, clothes, accessories including perfume and handbags.
Fill in the form below before and I'll announce the winner Friday 18 May.
All the best and come back next week for a special Friday Follower post
So, yesterday I told you Plonkers about my Brain Fart and thinking that I was having a minor stroke.
Well, I went to my GP last night to get him to give me "the once over".
He tested my cholestrol, my blood sugar, my blood pressure, he peering into my every orifice, pressed and prodded other parts, made me follow some simple instructions and do silly things. You'll be glad to know he gave me "the all clear" - FOR NOW!
I am relieved and slightly frustrated in a way, becauase I still don't know what happened to me. He did say "If it happens again go STRAIGHT to the Emergency". They will have a Neurologist on duty who will look at me immediately and do all the necessary tests in the hospital.
Eeek!
Lets just pray I won't need a full frontal labotomy.
Yesterday, I thought I was having a fucking stroke.
No, seriously. I literally felt very odd indeed.
I had the strangest symptoms and I still can’t explain the full extent of what I was going through.
About an hour after getting back from gym, my vision started blurring in the middle and then it was like tunnel vision – it was the weirdest thing - whenever I looked directly at something, it seemed to disappear. I couldn’t see the words on my computer screen. That lasted for about 15 to 20 minutes. After that, my fingers and hands started to go numb and whatever I touched with my hands went numb. Strange. I then got pins and needles in my hands.
After that, I tried so hard to read the words on my computer screen. My brain told me that I knew the words but I couldn’t for the life of me makes sense of just ONE word let alone a sentence. I knew that I should be able to make sense of the symbols on the page. I tried to spell a few words out loud and couldn't do it. I couldn't understand it and so I couldn't say it. I was a little freaked out by this. I just figured I was tired perhaps just was loosing my focus. I tried to blink, refocus and start again. Same thing. This lasted for what seems about 15 minutes. I'm not sure how long it was in actual time though. I was so disoriented.
I just couldn’t concentrate hard enough to make sense of the words or say them out loud. I couldn’t pronounce anything and my speech was slurred and I was having trouble expressing myself in words.
I just stayed in my office for most of the afternoon. I was NOT myself. The more I tried to read words and make sense of it the more frustrated I got. I had a slight headache when I told my hubby that night who said I still wasn't myself all night. I prayed before I went to bed. I prayed that if I had another stroke in my sleep, that God needed to help R with the girls in the morning.
This is not the first time this has happened to me either. I just didn’t talk about it before because, well, how do you go to the doctor and tell him these crazy symptoms?? How do you tell anyone? I figured I better tell my husband in case I died in my sleep from a frikken aneurism or something.
What does it sound like to you, Plonkers?
and now that you Plonkers have had some drama for the day, let me introduce our new wee pup.
Meet Penny our wee Jack Russell
Penny
Megan and Penny
Here's a conversations that I had with Kaylin (my 6 year old) the night before last.
KK: Mum, do The Police put you in jail for saying ugly words?
Me: No Kaylin. You have to do a serious offence to be put in jail.
KK: They put the handcuffs on and close the bars, hey?
Me: Yes.
KK: Do you stay there forever?
Me: It depends on what you’ve done.
KK thinking: You just have to be nice to The Police and they’ll let you out, hey?
Me: Its not quite that easy, my sweetie. What do you mean be nice to them?
KK: Well, you can just give them a big squeezy hug and kiss and tell them you’re very sorry and they’ll let you out.
Me: No, it doesn’t work like that. *explains* What do you think you get to eat in jail?
KK: Spiders and vegetables and Germs!
Me: That sounds awful!
KK: Yes and you only get to see your family if you’re really quiet and good.
Me: How does that work?
KK: The girls make a line and the boys don’t get to see their family because they always make a noise.
Me: What else happens in jail?
KK: Well, there is only one bath so you have to line up and take turns.
Me: Gee, do you think you have to wait long?
KK: No, The Police make sure you don’t play with toys in the bath.
Me trying not to giggle, and then?
KK: The boys have to wear handcuffs but The Police come with your toothbrush and toothpaste and take it off before they have to go bath and brush your teeth.
Me: WOW they’re strict!
KK: After the bath, you get to watch a little TV before you have to go to bed., if you’re good.
Me: Really?
KK: You don’t get to see flowers or trees in jail because it’s just bars and your bed.
Me: That’s such a shame.
KK: The boys get Ben 10 on their walls and the girls get Barbie.
Me: Nice..
KK: No!
Me: Why?
KK: Because you don’t get to see your family everyday and you don’t get a Key!
Have you ever wondered how much time you spend sleeping or perched on the loo? Have you ever wondered how much the average Plonker eats in his lifetime? Or how long your hair would've grown had you not been ripped off by that scabby barber for that last haircut.
Did you know?
Your blood travels about 96 000km through your body every day? Holy crapiola! That's six times the distance from Cape Town to Tunisia in North Africa.
You have almost 100 000 hairs on just yer pretty wee head.
If you were to add up the hours spent every day in front of the telly is would come to 12 years.
At the age of 10 you have about 17 friends but by the time you reach the big 4-0 you'll have only two good mates.
An amazing 17 million Plonkers have their birthday on the same day as you. That's the number of people living in Beijing, China.
The average FuckKnob laughs about 18 times a day.
Most fat-arses eat almost 30 tons of food in their lifetime. That's the weight of 50 elephants! It would take six years for you to consume this quantity if you ate steadily and constantly.
Us working bastards spend 10 years of our lives at work.
If you were to add up all the time you spend on the shitter taking either a dump, or a whizz it would equate to three years.
Waiting sucks but in your lifetime you'll spend seven months stuck in traffic and two months on the phone holding for some Doochenozzle to answer your call.
The average heart beats more or less 2.5 billion times in a lifetime. No wonder I'm always knackered.
Nearly 100 people die annually from choking on ballpoint pens.
You manufacture about 1.7 litres of saliva a day. That's enough to fill two swimming pools with gob during your lifetime!
If you're left-handed you may live nine years less than someone who's right-handed. I shit you not.
Next time you sneeze remember that those little Germ Fuckers travel at 160km per hour
Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?
Don't forget to enter my Mother's Day Giveaway. It ends 10 May so you still have a chance to win. Click on the Banner on my sidebar or on the link. You know you want to.
Well, its Toozday and its back to business as usual after a month on board the A to Z Blog Challenge train. The train has now been derailed and its back to the normal viewing schedule.
Caption this Cracker of an image and win a wee something from me.
![[A Daft Scots Lass]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYP-LXznLAxNQmYRA4B21Z68ZHopoRtsq_GGpl3ODXniztaNsk4gld4FgwDU-Vh9qZQaqciSnhaa11JR7vzHKJZFuX9g7CwCsKJio7QIDrp7IkSfOObgY-2mdtA-Op_SHn1lwPWhucIzs/s910/banner22.jpg)
