Tuesday, 20 April 2010

MuthaFuckin Suspected Brain Tumor

On Sunday night I woke up at 1am with the worst chronic pain ever!

It felt like someone was jamming a very pointy rusty nail deep into the root of one of my teeth.  The entire right side of my face hurt and the pain shot up into my head and deep down into my jaw bone. 

I was in total agony!

After moaning like an dying old fucking cow and pacing up and down the passage clutching my face, I managed to find some Synap Forte that I had left over from a surgery I had about a year ago.  I popped two immediately. It look a while for them to kick in - it was the worst and longest 40 minutes ever... 

I held my face tight with both hands and rocked myself back and forward, sobbing like a heart-broken child.  Why does applying pressure to a painful area seem to soothe it?  Nothing would take this kind of pain away...

I was contemplating finding my Boerewors' tool box and using his rusty pliers to rip that muthafuckin-piece-of-shit-tooth out by myself!  I was actually thinking about doing a "Worzel Gummidge" and ripping my own damn head off!  I have never experienced such stabbing pain.  Never!  

Fuck it!  I would even go through natural childbirth TWICE rather than go through that pain.  It was actually blinding - undescribable agony.

My Boerewors tried to help - bless him - by applying a hot face cloth to the area, he even suggested we go to the ER.  He said he's never seen me in such pain.  Thanx to the drugs, I eventually fell asleep and apparently I was talking gobbledy goop in my sleep, completely delirious - the drugs were obviously good shit. 

On Monday morning when I woke up, I popped another two Synap Forte (my new Best Friend just by the way) and I dragged myself to work.  I made an emergency appointment with my Dentist.  He squeezed me in and took a panorama x-ray of my aching face.  His diagnosis?  An abscess!  You tell me - how the fuck can an infection cause such awesome pain??  

No seriously!  Surley I at least have a fucking brain tumor the size of a large pumpkin to explain the pain I experienced?

So anyhoo,  I walked around dazed and drugged at work the entire day on Monday and of course everyone suggested and offered various toothache home remedies from whiskey, rescue remedy and making a poltus paste with paracetamol and anesthetic cream and applying it straight onto the throbbing area.

I was hearing nothing of it!  I had My New Best Friend - Synap Forte!

So, bottom line, I'm on a pretty heavy doze of penicillin antibiotics (two HUGE horse pills), anti-inflammatory, inter flora and My New Best Friends aka Synap Forte three times a day. 

As you can imagine, I now have minimal pain with my prescription drugs but I'm flying high in a completely different planet.  Its a weird feeling but oh so nice...

Wish me luck for Root Canal next week, when my infection has hopefully cleared up and the Dentist can actually come into contact with my tooth with his wee pointy instrument.

Urgh!  More Synap Forte please! 

Or can someone source these Cocaine Toothache Drops.  They do claim instantaneous cure - for only 15 cents!  Fucking Bargain!

12 comments:

Brian Miller said...

ack. i had one about 2 years ago that absessed so i feel for you...actually i wish i could not imagine the pain...but the drugs did help and once its done it will feel so much better.

Blasé said...

Root Canals are a good thing. They don't hurt like they used to.

Christiejolu said...

I want cocaine toothache drops! LOL! Just kidding.

Nothing worse than a toothache! Hope it gets better, but enjoy your high!

Bernie said...

Oh sorry you are in so much pain, I know all about it as I have been there......not fun.
Anyway after swelling up like a bowling ball and a week of antibiotics the root canel was done and all was well.
Moral of the story, hang on, hang in, it did get all better after I spent a ton of money....Hugs

Tmena said...

Oh sorry to hear that. I had an absess once. They're so merciless aren't they. The damn suckers. Hope you feel better soon.

KK said...

Good luck! Root canals cause me to panic and try to pull my own teeth.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Oh that all sounds so miserable, everything but the cocaine toothache drops for 15 cents. Those are never around when you need them!
Good luck and hang in there.
Robyn

cat said...

Oh my word, that is the worst pain ever! So sorry for you.

Chris Lee said...

Ouch... Sorry to hear you had to go through all of that. Next time give me a call and I'll bring you some of my meds over. Not as good as the Coke drops, but should do the trick and last pretty long as well.

Hope all goes well with the root canel. As said, they really aren't that bad any more. Grab the dentist between the legs though before he starts and promise to squeeze if it hurts.. He will make sure you don't feel a thing

brain tumor headaches said...

so sad dear, your having the brain tumor headache. brain tumor headaches is very dangerous for human. so you should be take the better treatment for you.

Mimi and Tilly said...

Wow that sounds awful. I hope you feel better soon. x

Momza said...

First, I must apologize for not visiting more often! I'd been going to your other blog which you'd not updated since 2009 sometime and figured you'd stopped blogging!
So glad I came across this one!
Second, a toothache can bring me to my knees! I gave birth at home one day, and the next day, I had an abscessed-wisdom tooth! I thought the pain was much worse than labor--no kidding! Had to see the dentist THAT DAY for removal. All of it was much worse than having a baby!
Glad you are better. Drugs are a wonderful thing! lol

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