Gag Me With A Spoon

Let me take you back to the 80s for the A to Z Blog Challenge Letter G.

The eighties were definitely NOT the best era for flattering fashion.  In fact, the fashions and styles were downright ridiculous and often ugly!

This particular item brings back awesome memories for me. 

I started being a serious gym bunny when I was 17 years old and I haven't stopped since.  If I don't have a gym contract or working out, I feel that something is missing in my life.  I've been through aerobics, step aerobics, calanetics, kata box training, zumba, weight training, circuit training, you name it, I've probably tried it at one time or another.

G-String Leotards

My exercise routine started off doing classic aerobics in the late 80s, when the fashions in the gym were sexy and risqué! 

G-String high-cut skimpy leotards with flesh coloured footless tights, wide coloured belts and head bands and not forgetting the fuzziest, brightest coloured leg warmers you could find. 

Don't forget the LA Gear hi-tops, which any dedicated Gym Bunny just HAD to have, with the same colour laces as your fluffy roll-down socks, of course.  Nothing demure about the eighties! 

LA Gear

Oh yeah, those were the days of Jane Fonda educating us on "feeling the burn" and squeezing our glutes until we thought they'd actually fall right off!

Today's retro music feature is George Michael.  I thought I'd stick with the eighties...

Remember, You Gotta Have Faith! 

Keeping Motivated to Train During Winter

With the temperatures plummeting this time of year and days being shorter, many of us tend to hibernate inside our homes.

I know I do, coz I hate winter!  

Most of you who know me well, know that I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, I just want to stay home and stay warm during winter.I become a real Grumpy Arse and complain about the cold all winter through. 

But, hibernating is for bears. 

As humans it’s important to stay active through all four seasons. Yet some Wanker who did a poll of 5,000 people found that 30% percent of us lazy bastids get no exercise at all during the winter months.

Just because it is cold outside doesn’t make it open season for an excuse not to exercise. Right?  Urgh! I suppose so...

Oh Fucking Shut up!  I hate shedding the clothes when the temperature outside is freezing.  Just the thought of disrobing to hit the orbitrek, work out for an hour and then having to strip again to have a shower to freshen up and get changed again, its horrific.  

And I do all of that during my lunch time every week day at work!

I hear you saying "Is she fucking insane?".

Well, yeah, you're only figuring that out now?

I train during my lunch time because I can't and will NOT get up early in the mornings.  My middle name is Garfield - I am NOT a morning person at all and that's when temps are at their coldest!! 

I'm certainly not going to cut my time with my hubby and children at night time to go and train after work.  Besides, who will make supper, tidy up, do the chores, empty school bags, do the homework....

Therefore, I choose to train during my lunch hour and yes I do fit it in.  

I make time. 

The important thing is to accept its going to be cold but do not accept the excuses that you will come up with not to exercise.  And lemmie tell you its soopa easy to find plenty excuses during winter.

• Have a plan. Try to exercise 4-5 times a week. Make it a priority!  Schedule it on your Blackberry, iPhone or on your Calendar. That should be your goal.  Just get it done, like everything else on your To Do List. We all have 168hrs in every week. Do not feed yourself any excuses about having no time or you have something else on, there is NOTHING in your life as important as your health and fitness. 

• Out of those 168hrs you only have to exercise 4-5. To me, that's not a bad ratio.

• Get warm first. A proper warm-up is critical especially when cold temperatures can make your muscles tight and therefore they are more prone to injuries.  So, it’s important to get them warmed-up prior to engaging in intense physical activity. Be sure to spend at least 10 minutes warming up and another 5mins going through your ROM stretching.

• Insulate your body. The best approach to dressing for outdoor exercise is with layers. Layering provides the most effective heating method, plus it allows you to remove the top layer if you get too hot. The layer closest to your skin should allow moisture to be wicked away. The top layer should be both wind and water resistant.

• No sweat. Don’t assume that you have to sweat in order to get a good workout. You should avoid sweating that causes the clothing layer closest to your skin to get wet and cause you to be chilled. Instead monitor your intensity through a heart rate monitor or the Rating of Your Perceived Exertion.

• Don’t strip when you get inside. While you may be tempted to immediately remove your layers when returning inside, give your body time to adjust. Post exercise hypothermia is possible. This happens when your body rapidly loses its heating stores.

• Drink up. It’s just as important to stay hydrated when exercising in winter as it is in summer, even though you might not feel as thirsty.

• Lighten up. If possible, it’s best to exercise outdoors during daylight areas. But, with shorten days that can be difficult to do.

By staying fit during winter you’ll be able to avoid gaining weight and becoming a blob.  Have a head start on swimsuit season (I haven't worn a fucking bikini for 20 years and I don't plan to start again) avoid losing strength and stamina caused from inactivity. 

Once the weather fines up people are signing up with the gym again and the aerobics classes become a mad-house but, never fear, it only ever lasts a month or two. Then its back to normal sized classes and the same old regular faces.

Think about it over winter - would you rather gain 5kgs or lose 5kgs?  Both are totally possible and probable depending on the route you take. 

I plan to loose 5kg - wish me luck!

Lets hit the gym! 

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Vlog # 7 The Big Bang Theory, Gym Training and Woolies Cheese Pies

I started out being a bit pissed off doing this vlog because I'd done it a few times and lost it while uploading to YouTube!  But check how my eyes start twinkling when I start talking about Sheldon, Howard, Leonard and Raj?  I think I have a serious problem.  I may have to seek professional help.  Any suggestions?

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Freaky Fawk You Friday

Its Fawk You Friday over at Boobies

Fuck You to the collection of 9 million hadidah ibis birds that hide in our trees, outside our bedroom and wake me a 5am every fucking morning with they "waahwaah" at full volume!  My boerewors has a paint ball gun with your name on it!!! Watch out, Tweety!

Fuck You to the fat genes that I was blessed with or cursed with rather.  I have to watch EVERYTHING I eat.  I put on 2lbs just looking at slice chocolate fudge cake, 3lbs if I sniff it and 5lbs if I lick the bastard.  Fuck those calories - surely by now modern technology could have invented some ingenius Slim Pill that makes and keeps your skinny...

Fuck You to our long-haired cat who causes me to spray my twangy mucus and make it airborne for everyone to suck in and let those little bacteria fuckers breed in my tiny off-spring's immune system.  I am considering shaving Pickles - then all have a sphinx and won't be sneezing over everything and everyone.

Fuck You to Creme Soda that my kids love but turns their teeth a beautiful shade of Hulk green.  What is in that shite?  Its like green glue.

Fuck You to the local gym who want to charge me R599 per month to join their facility!  That is $86 - I don't wanna fucking buy the equipment, I just wanna use it a few times a week.  For that price I want a fucking back massage and pedicure every time I step through the door!  Jaysus, I could save up the money I'd spend on gym for 6 months and get me some liposuction!

Final Fuck You to the eyebrow dye that I left on a wee bit too long last night and now I have a pair of Bozo The Clown brows.  Thank God I have a long fringe!

Couch Potato No More

What did I do without gym for almost 6 years?


I started going to gym when I was 16 years old. I started off doing aerobics and progressed into teaching the odd Calanetics class for a while. By the time I was 20 I had a solid six pack and a butt like a bullet. I enjoyed exercising probably because it was the closest thing to dance I could get.


When I was little it was a dream to be a dancer and ballerina but my folks didn't have the money to send me to lessons. I therefore went to my next door neighbour who got the privelidge that I never had. She went to ballet class twice a week after her classes I'd rush over there to learn what she'd been taught that day and squeeze my feet into her teeny weeny ballet slippers. I always wanted to dance but never got the chance...so aerobics and dance aerobics was my next best thing...


Well I carried on gyming and training at least 4 times a week and sometimes every single day. I did weight training, road cycling, aerobics, step and dance aerobics, power pump, body conditioning, kata box training and callantecis for another 10 years until I was 7 months pregnant with Megan. I would've carried on but I just got so fat when I was pregnant all I could manage was peddling the stationary bike towards the end.

My focus totally changed when I had Megan and I managed to go back for a couple of weeks when she was about 3 months old but my heart wanted to be home with her more than antyhing. So, I never went back to gym. Then Kaylin came along and I only considered going back to gym when she was 2½ years old and by then I was fat as a PIG. I'd put on so much weight!


So the perfect opportunity came last year when we moved offices and the Virgin Active was about 400m down the road. I now had no excuse! I could go to gym at lunch time and it wouldn't interfere with my time with my family.


I joined Virgin Meyersdal last year September and got back into my training and seriously stuck to a sensible eating plan. By the end of November I'd lost 10kg and I notice my blubbery body becoming stronger and firmer.





After shedding all the weight and being back into a good training programme, I wondered why I never did it before.


I wasn't ready.


I wanted to spending all my breathing hours with my little babies and not take any focus away from them and my hubby. It may have been a drastic decision and I'm sure a lot of mums would've said JUST MAKE THE TIME TO GO TO GYM.


I did - eventually and I can't tell you how glad I am to be back. Its awesome.


I now go at least 3 or 4 times a week.


I do a Body Conditioning class on a Monday which usually kills us after the weekend. We do loads of lunges, good for the bums, loads of push ups for biceps and triceps and about 20 minutes of abs. Its a great class and I'm usually VERY stiff the next day. Going up and down the stairs can be a lots of effort and quite painful.


Tuesday I go and do my own thing 25 minutes of cardio on the health walker and wave machine combined. I do a little arms and tons of abs. I concentrate on my innner and outer thighs (my problem areas).


Wednesday is a beautiful Pilates class with a mixed bunch of young and old, fat and thin, fit and not so fit. You don't feel pressured to suck in your tummy and look your best. You can actually relax and just work hard without worrying of what others are going to think of you.



I must say since I've started Pilates, my core stength has improved so much and my flexibiliy has surprised me. Pilates helps lengthen the muslces instead of build them. We use loads of equipment like the yoga balls, the Bosu, weight sticks, pilates circles and flexi-bands. I love these bits of equipment because its makes the class interesting. The ones who want to "slack off" in pilates can because is very easy to pretend you're doing the deep muscle tone exercises when you're actually not.



Thursday I do my own thing again and its usually quite empty, so I do lots of step machine and circuit, 250 various ab exercises and inner and outter thigh ags. Thank God for ipods! If I don't go on a Thursday, I'll go on a Friday but I do try and do either one.


Most people need a partner or constant motivation to get to gym but I actually really enjoy going. Yes, there are some days when I have to force myself to go (espeically in the colder rainy weather) but when I get there and get going I'm always so glad I did go because I feel so much better.


Must be those wicked feel-good endorphins. Yes, Chocolate does the same but you don't get the same physiological results, right?


Gotta Love those Endorphins...