Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Tears! Tears! Screaming!


Oh its so heartbreaking for me to drop KK at school. She clings to my neck like a wee monkey and burys her head in my neck, sobbing, tears, streaming, calling my name...

When I kiss her, say goodbye and tell her that I love her I hand her over to Ennie (the Teacher's helper) she shrieks so hard and cries at the top of her lungs "Mummy! Don't go!". She upsets herself, me and the other children so much with her hysterics. Its totally heart-breaking.

I know that children don't like change and her moving from "Baby School" into the "Big School" section with a new classroom and new teacher is traumatic in itself but some of her little friends are still with her. Her teacher says that she calms down a couple of minutes after I am gone and she carries on with her day happily playing with the toys and her friends.

That separation is just so horrid.

I landed up crying all the way to work this morning and I heard her shrieks through my head and heart. It just gets to me. It makes me feel guilty and bad and so terribly insensitive. I know that its the change and that she needs to just get into a routine but its still hurts so much.

I have even tried explaining to her in the car on the way to school what is going to happen, that I'm not deserting or abandoning her. That I have to go to work but that I will be back to collect her soon.

I hope that she settles in soon and that she doesn't remain anxious to leave me and go to school happily. I'd hate to go through this everyday and that it developes into separation anxiety

Making Goodbyes Easier

These strategies can help ease kids and parents through this difficult period:
Timing is everything.

- Try not to start day care or child care with an unfamiliar person when your little one is between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to appear. Also, try not to leave when your child is likely to be tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.

- Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places gradually. If you're planning to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, then invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you're in the room. If your child is starting at a new day care center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods of time so that he or she can get used to being away from you.

-Be calm and consistent. Create a exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you'll be back — and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts kids will understand (such as after lunch) because your child can't yet understand time. Give him or her your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.

-Follow through on promises. It's important to make sure that you return when you have promised to. This is critical — this is how your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through the time apart.

ITS ALL SO HARD!

4 comments:

Janet said...

It is not easy - I remember going through the same with Stacey, although she used to be fine at drop off time, it was at home time, if I wasn't waiting at the classroom door for her all hell broke loose. Heaven help me if there was a robot out, or an accident and I was held up in traffic! It does get better!

Jeanette said...

Oh crumbs that doesn't sound good at all.
Hope it gets better from next week

Mick said...

Have you watched the programme Supernanny on DSat? It is surprising how a routine and perseverence changes a way a child reacts and behaves.

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