Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Wine, Shopping and Hair

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

21 comments:

Lost.in.Idaho said...

This.

You win 10 internets for this. Awesome!

Autumnforest said...

Touche! My ex had me cutting and highlighting my own hair. Hence, he is an ex.

Mooner Johnson said...

Lass. You are too fucking funny.

Please pick me as the winnwer of the photo contest.

Sausage Fingers said...

Oh you ladies and your tricks, I am pulling it out right now. My visa that is....

Monkey Man said...

classic.

Brian Miller said...

hehe...i am afraid...

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I actually laughed so hard at this that part of my drink came out of my nose...

The Frog Queen said...

LOL! I just spit green tea all over my computer monitor. Soooo going to share that with my husband :D

Thanks for sharing.

Cheers!

diaryofanangryfatwoman said...

hello fellow CCC'er. this post made me laugh! :) thanks fo the smile

Melanie said...

Amen, sister. Amen.

cat said...

LOL!

Akelamalu said...

LOL That's a great lesson for a man to learn!

nitebyrd said...

Too funny! :D

Nolens Volens said...

Hehehe!

Alice X said...

Consider him told!

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I hope all is well over there Gillian!

Toyin O. said...

That is so funny:)

W.C.Camp said...

And don't forget showering - that is always a top motivator!!! W.C.C.

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