[A Daft Scots Lass]

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Caption My Photo Competition #30

Toozday means its time to enter my Caption My Photo Competition.

Are you excited? Are you?!

I AM!

I fucking love this time of the week when I get to let you wonderful Plonkers caption a daft image of mine and I get to choose a winner.

I'm puting a twist on it this week, though. I'm going to let YOU fantastic peeps choose the winner this time!

I'm going to give you Cocksmokers and Bitches until Saturday to leave your comments and captions. Then on Saturday (when I normally announce the winner) you Plonkers need to come and vote for your favourite caption.

You will have until Toozday next week to vote for your favourite caption and I will announce the winner that day with the new Caption my Photo Competition #31.

This one made me cackle out loud even without a caption.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

This week's Monday Music Moves Me theme over at Xmas Dolly is 80's music or Disney songs.

I choose both! Visit Dolly and link up.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

And The Winner Is...

And this week's Caption my Photo Winner is fellow Crazy Chick from lafemmeroar. Send me an email (info@redpepa[dot]za[dot]net with your postal address and I'll be sending you a wee something

This weather is perfect for my high beams ...

Friday, 4 November 2011

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

I have lost my blog mojo! Would that make it blojo?

I tried looking for it but it wasn’t under the bed, or outside behind the shed. It wasn’t lost at sea, or behind my ear. I think I may have accidentally thrown it out with my Cupboard Clutter.

How do I find it and get my blog groove back, Plonkers?

I used to start writing a blog post with a clean sheet of paper and a dirty mind. My blog posts used to be funny and entertaining. Now the are just "and".

All I can think about is how tired I am and how much I need a holiday. Seems like I’m not the only one feeling like this. I speak to friends, family, colleagues and they all say that it’s that time of year when everyone is grumpy and irritated.

I am no exception. I’m grumpier than and old woman with sore tits, a wet pair of parachute knickers and an itchy fanny.

Only boring people are brilliant at breakfast.

Okay, here is my hypothesis:

It is because I lack BlogFuel©.

Yes, blogging fuel. Everyone has their own preference of BlogFuel©. For me it is potato crisps. I'm referring to real crisps – the authentic potato chip, not those sissy corn-puff crisps that vanish when you put them in yer mouth. I’m particularly partial to beef flavour. Mexican chilli is a close second.

Och, don’t tell me you don’t have a perculiar ritual that you execute while blogging. Don’t say you don’t munch on your desired grub while moderating your comments and contemplating Google Reader.

BlogFuel© makes us think better and blog better? If you disagree, then I’m dippier than @TheEllenShow on Twitter.

Don’t fucking judge me.

I need to blog on a full tank!

You see, lately all I’ve been eating is Bok-Kos aka bunny chow aka salad and veggies. I’m permanently on diet because I’ve put on so much weight since I stopped smoking 10 months ago. I have been enduring a whole lot of low-fat shite and restricting my sugar intake, so BlogFuel© has not been promptly accessible.

I think I’ve lost my blog mojo because of my lack of BlogFuel©.

They say you loose yer mojo when you’re stressed or surrounded with clutter. I recently cleared out my Cupboard Clutter to make space for more shoes. Seems like no one is interested in taking it off my hands yet, so perhaps I’ve lost my blog mojo because of all the time I've been dedicating to creating order and shipshape cupboards.

BlogFuel© is my self-invented word. Use it well, my blogger chums.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Wait! I’ve had yet another Brain Fart!

No, no a make that a Brand Fart!

I should start my own line of potato crisps called BlogFuel©.

Flavours will include; RSS Feed-Yer-Face Roast Beef, PingBack Prawn, Subcribe Spicy Salsa and Follower Fruit Chutney to start off with.

I’ll fucking kill it! Its already patented, Fuckers so don’t think of stealing my idea.

At first, I’ll market them here on my blog and when it takes off, it will go global.

I’ll be the next fucking Bill Gates!

Stand back, watch this space.

Fame and Fortune ensues.

Fuel Up!

BlogFuelly Yours,

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Fuck You Friday and A Shoegasm

Fawk You Friday is hosted by Boobies and Christy. Go link up and vent your weekly frustrations at those who pissed on yer battery! Whine, rant, bitch and moan is the name of the game, Fuckers.

Fuck you to all the Movember participent Plonkers out there. They are taking over the cocksmokin' interwebz! Check the envy in my eye? Oh okay, I want an EarlStash! Perhaps I should start my own trend and have Pittember and grow out my oakster hair (for those of you that don't speak "DaftScot", oakster is an armpit). Good idea or utter pish? I need yer feedback.

Fuckity Fuck You to the tummy bug that invaded my 8 year old this week. MummyLove is... holding your daughters hair out of the way while she empties the slimey contents of her stomach into the Porcelain Pan every two hours. Rubbing her back while she wretches and and makes teradactile noises. I even threw up a little in my own mouth while watching her.

F-F-Fuck You to Midnight puppy duty. Having a 6 week old pup in the house is like having a newborn all over again. The crying, the whining, the night feeds, the outside toilet duty, cleaning up doggie shite. At the end of it all you say OH Fuck it and put her in the bed just so you can get some sleep.

Fuck you to my Cupboard Clutter blog that's taken all my time this week and hence had no blog posts with substance.