I have lost my blog mojo! Would that make it blojo?
I tried looking for it but it wasn’t under the bed, or outside behind the shed. It wasn’t lost at sea, or behind my ear. I think I may have accidentally thrown it out with my Cupboard Clutter.
How do I find it and get my blog groove back, Plonkers?
I used to start writing a blog post with a clean sheet of paper and a dirty mind. My blog posts used to be funny and entertaining. Now the are just "and".
All I can think about is how tired I am and how much I need a holiday. Seems like I’m not the only one feeling like this. I speak to friends, family, colleagues and they all say that it’s that time of year when everyone is grumpy and irritated.
I am no exception. I’m grumpier than and old woman with sore tits, a wet pair of parachute knickers and an itchy fanny.
Only boring people are brilliant at breakfast.
Okay, here is my hypothesis:
It is because I lack BlogFuel©.
Yes, blogging fuel. Everyone has their own preference of BlogFuel©. For me it is potato crisps. I'm referring to real crisps – the authentic potato chip, not those sissy corn-puff crisps that vanish when you put them in yer mouth. I’m particularly partial to beef flavour. Mexican chilli is a close second.
Och, don’t tell me you don’t have a perculiar ritual that you execute while blogging. Don’t say you don’t munch on your desired grub while moderating your comments and contemplating Google Reader.
BlogFuel© makes us think better and blog better? If you disagree, then I’m dippier than @TheEllenShow on Twitter.
Don’t fucking judge me.
I need to blog on a full tank!
You see, lately all I’ve been eating is Bok-Kos aka bunny chow aka salad and veggies. I’m permanently on diet because I’ve put on so much weight since I stopped smoking 10 months ago. I have been enduring a whole lot of low-fat shite and restricting my sugar intake, so BlogFuel© has not been promptly accessible.
I think I’ve lost my blog mojo because of my lack of BlogFuel©.
They say you loose yer mojo when you’re stressed or surrounded with clutter. I recently cleared out my Cupboard Clutter to make space for more shoes. Seems like no one is interested in taking it off my hands yet, so perhaps I’ve lost my blog mojo because of all the time I've been dedicating to creating order and shipshape cupboards.
BlogFuel© is my self-invented word. Use it well, my blogger chums.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
Wait! I’ve had yet another Brain Fart!
No, no a make that a Brand Fart!
I should start my own line of potato crisps called BlogFuel©.
Flavours will include; RSS Feed-Yer-Face Roast Beef, PingBack Prawn, Subcribe Spicy Salsa and Follower Fruit Chutney to start off with.
I’ll fucking kill it! Its already patented, Fuckers so don’t think of stealing my idea.
At first, I’ll market them here on my blog and when it takes off, it will go global.
I’ll be the next fucking Bill Gates!
Stand back, watch this space.
Fame and Fortune ensues.