If cockroachs survived the Holocaust, what do they make Doom out of?

Long-gone are the days when painting was strictly done with specialized tools, like brushes, on canvases. Nowadays artists use anything from remote-controlled toy cars to Molotov cocktails to express their talents. So it should come to know surprise Kyle Lambert uses just one finger and the Apple iPad to create detailed celebrity portraits.

Kyle Lambert is a young English artist who specializes in portraits rendered using an iPad tablet and an $8 app, called Brushes. He only uses one finger as the brush, but judging by the detailed outcome, you’d think he has a whole set of professional tools and paints.

That reminds me of the bloke who made portraits of people out of marmite toast. He was on Britain's Got Talent, if I remember correctly. Hang on, I'm gonna have to google this one because its going to bug me.

Yeah, his name was Nathan Wyburn and he had me completely mezmerised.



Katherine Kalnes makes celebrity portraits out of pancakes.  Yummy.

Lee Hadwin who is dubbed The Sleepwalking artist.

Oh yeah,and the famous, Pricasso who paints with his knobbly bobbly. 

I shite you not, Plonkers.  I saw him with my own eyes at the Sexpo.

I think mine would have to be black and white portraits in chocolate

What would your method of art be to paint your portrait?  

Caption My Photo Competition #36

Its Toozday which means its time to caption another daft photo of mine. 

Before you get wildly creative and incredibly daft captioning this, just a quick update on my new eating plan. 

It's been going well on my liquid diet since 1 January.  I have loads of energy and am so motivated and postive about this.  I see this as a lifestyle change this year.  I want to get more healthy, I want my family to eat more healthy and I plan to make some serious changes to my munching habits.

Therefore, I'm going to be starting my Dukan Diet a day early and tomorrow is D-Day.  I'm off to the shops to buy all my fat-free proteins for the next 10 days.

Go ahead, caption this colourful one and win a wee special new year something from me

Caption My Photo Compeition #35 Winner

And the winner of this week's Caption my daft Photo Competition is Barfly from SSS Porch Party

He Captioned this cracker!  Barfly, email me at info@redpepa[dot]za[dot]net your postal address and I will be sending you a wee surprise.

Das zu zee my bratvurst? Iz zo big and taztee.

     

New Sex School opens in Austria

The Austrian International School of Sex is now open!

The opening was announced by the headmistress of the school, Ylva Maria Thompson. The vision of the school, according to Thompson, is to teach people how to be better lovers. She goes on to say that people spend time and money on training their mind, muscles, and fitness, but do not spend enough effort on developing their love-making skills. This is precisely what the sex school hopes to address.
Curious to know more? Well, all we know for now is that the school plans to provide theoretical and practical training.  Theory I hear you say?  Och aye...courses such as the history of sex and modern sexual theory will be taught. A major truck load of the course, however, will be ‘hands-on’.

An entire semseter at the school consists of five full-term and three special intensive courses. The cost for a semester is €1,400 which is roughly $1,850 or R14 000.  Can you say WTF?  The first batch is due to start this month and the class has already been filled up.  Register HERE. 

According to the school’s website, classes will take place at an 18^th century mansion - sexy - which is about a half-hour drive from Vienna. The mansion has been redecorated to suit the needs of the school and is equipped with high-tech teaching rooms.  I bet you they'll have one or two sex chairs hidden in a candlelit corner. 

Prospective pupils can breathe an orgasmic sigh of relief, because unlike most other learning institutions, the newly established Austrian International Sex School in Vienna plans to keep their curriculum applied, instead of academic.

"Our core education is not theoretical, but very practical. The emphasis is on how to be a better lover", declared the school head, adding that “sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features” will all form part of the course syllabus.

So how does one get in?

• You have to be 16 and over.
• You have to be rich.
• You have to be prepared to live in a co-ed dormitory, where naturally, you will be required to practice your ‘homework’.

Visit their Facebook Page HERE

I'm writing a Diet Book. It's called "Put That Down, Fatty!"

Happy New Year, Plonkers!

Today is a brand new year and that means it is the day that my new eating plan starts and hopefully my weight loss gets a fucking serious kick in the arse. 

My flabby arse needs a serious full body overhaul.  I want to feel comfortable in my clothes, I want to go into those pretty trinket shops without worrying that my wide-arse hips are going to knock all the expensive nicknaks downs.  I really don't want to look like a pale pork sausage anymore.

Did you know?

 A person can survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten.

Anyhoover, I am starting with a liquid diet of raw fruits and veggies for 5 days and then on to the Attack Phase of the Dukan Diet. I'm all organised and keen to get going with this new eating plan.  My mind has been ready for this for 3 weeks or so.  I'd say wish me luck but I don't need luck only hard work from my side and willpower to stick this one through.  My mind is in the right place and ready to see the kilos drop off on my newly purchased twinkling trendy bathroom scale.

I went shopping yesterday for fruits and veggies and came back with a new digital scale and The Dukan Diet Life Plan book.

Don't worry about this fat.  I'll fuck off soon enough.  With any luck, if I loose 2kg a week, you'll be completely rid of me in aboot 9 months.