Thursday, 27 May 2010

The Offside Rule For Lassies

In preparation for the 2010 Fifa Soccer World Cup, here is the "offside rule" explained for women:

Right Lassies, listen up, you're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have....

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes! 


At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!


The moral of the story : get the shoes at all costs!!!

10 comments:

Azzazin said...

Just fabulous!
I've had the offside rules explained to me many many times. This one I think I'll actually remember! Thanks!

cat said...

LOL! This is hugely stunning and entertaining.

Brian Miller said...

haha. i am totally envisioning a red card on what comes next...

Rick said...

You could always carry a stun gun or something while shopping. Or even tear gas. That brings the other customers to their knees.

Mashuga Mom said...

Shoes.... outta my way. I am a shoe freak...I hear ya.... "ALL COSTS"

Dulce said...

;) :)
Offside?

Blasé said...

I'm sorry, but this post was waaaaay too girly for us he-men.

Matty said...

Never get in the way of a determined female shopper.

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/jingles-may-follower-award-week-4.html

awards 4 u,
Happy Friday!

Jingle said...

cute!

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