Sunday, 13 March 2011

You Gotta Be Shittin Me!

Yesterday I got a phone call on our landline at home.

I never get calls on my land line unless its my mum because firstly she's one of the few who actually have the number and secondly we mostly use it for the internet connection.

Anyhoo, Saturday afternoon and the phone rings and My Boerewors picks it up. I know immediately that its not my mum by the tone of voice he uses and the fact that he hands me the phone with a complete straight poker face.

and that's all I really listened to. The Bitch went on for ages yakking in a monotone voice about life insurance, insurance for my life insurance and whatever other fucking insurance she could blab about. Eventually I held the phone away from my ear because this Yakkity-Ann wasn't coming up for a fuckin' breath.

"Hi Mrs Hefer this is Janelle from Liberty Life. If I could have a few minutes of your time to tell you about ....."

I think they purposesly employ candidates with large lung capacities just in case you want to get a word in anywhere in the conversation. They hardly take a breath between sentenses and don't even wait for cues from you that you're actually listening.

Eventually, I put the handset down on the couch next to me while Liberty Fadoodle blethered on for another few minutes. Kaylin (my five year old) saw all this happening and took it upon herself to pick up the phone and say one word to Liberty Bagpuss.

"Yebo?!"

Yebo means Yes in Zulu.

I couldn't stop laughing...

...guess what

The annoyinng Fur Burger called back a few hours later to talk to me again and went through the entire schpeel again..

I SHIT YOU NOT!

Rinse Repeat.

13 comments:

David Barber said...

Ha! You should have let your five year old have a full conversation with her. That would have been funny!

Enjoy your Sunday, DSL!!

Brian Miller said...

lol. i agree with david...i hate those phone calls...

Akelamalu said...

If I get calls like that I just put the phone down and cut them off. :)

Alan W. Davidson said...

Har! We get this annoying AUTOMATED telephone soliciting call every few days that goes: "Tired of those annoying calls that happen at dinner time...." Thats's the point where I usually hang up.

Having your daughter deal with the caller sounds like a great idea. Next time they call, I've have them call your place to have your daughter sort them out!

THUNDERCAT832 said...

LMFAO FUR BURGER! I'm stealing that one! Just do what I'm going to do...start moaning like you're masturbating...that'll either get them off...or get them off the phone! lol

The Angry Lurker said...

Hang the feck up with these soulless wonders.

Matty said...

Put them on the "do not call" list.

Leah said...

I agree with David. Just get Kaylin to deal with it every time!!
Liberty Fadoodle - LMAO!! Is that a Scottish nickname for anyone annoying the arse off you? I always say "Now listen here, Fanny Fanackerpants!" A rather pleasing term, don't you think?

Thank, Q said...

LOL! Torturing telemarketers is fun. I realize they have to make a living, but they have to understand that sometimes they bug people. The five year old picking up the phone is classic!

blackhuff said...

We also use our land line at home just for internet purposes and the only people who have the number, is the parents.
So frustrating that they got hold of your number. When I hear those lines when they start the conversation, I blatantly says: "No thank you." and put down the phone.

Anonymous said...

Me thinks this is gonna pop up on Fuck You Friday ... :)

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Damn straight, Anon!

@Matty how do you do that?

Joker_SATX said...

This gives sales people a bad name....

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