Put a bit of VROOM in yer Make-Up Bag, Bitches

Are you looking for something Xtraordinary for your Mother's Day Goodie Bag?


This may not be the perfect Mother's Day gift for your mum, but perhaps a saucy wee surprise from your hubby isn't a bad idea?


Check out the juicy new range from EdenFantasys. It's called The Screaming O Studio Collection and no woman should be without at least one of these wee gems in her handbag from this steamy collection.


They have the cutest wee vibrating lipsticks that will have you pouting like a Ho in seconds, compacts and blush brushes that will leave your titbits tingling and mascaras and lip glosses that will defintely put a horny twinkle in yer eye and a wry smile on yer dial. 

Gone are those embarrassing moments when your wee tikes pulls our your sex toy from yer handbag and announces at top volume in a very busy shopping mall that mummy's big worm is buzzing. 

With these disguised discret wee power toys, no one will ever know the difference.

Now, if that doesn't rock yer boat or if you think you have enough vibrating friends, then head on over and check out their 50% clearance on spring sexy lingerie and clubwear, which need no batteries.

Hey Plonkers, if you're a real Bargain Bin Bitch like I am, and 50% off is not enough for your moth-eaten purse, they're also having a 70% Off clearance sale on thousands of their other quality items.

Here is your chance to WIN a $55 Gift Certificate from EdenFantasys.

Getting Back in the Coitus Maximus Saddle. Yeeeeehaw!

After you’ve had a couple of kids it is quite common for your sex drive to take a nose dive. This can be remedied in various ways, so you needn’t despair. For example, you may want to consider an increasingly popular trend that is to invest in sex toys such as vibrating hand held devices or things slightly less adventurous such as flavoured lubricant. It is difficult to resist the temptation with some of the best sex toys almost guaranteeing The Big O. This is not sales speak either, they genuinely work!

Before kids, when the urge and opportunity arose, you were bonking like rabbits, but it’s hard to be spontaneous when there are more than two peoples’ timetables to consider and wee people's leering eyes peeping around every corner.

One of the most common bits of advice is to schedule time, but this is easier said than done because most women can’t just “turn it on” at a certain time. Men can become a pain in the arsky when you schedule a time for some romance and then their lover isn’t in the mood. They don’t understand that women can’t just get a hard on and go for it, and will be frustrated if they feel they have been promised something that then isn’t delivered.

One way to counteract this is to try getting into the mood by letting your imagination go wild before the anticipated event. Fantasy is a key part of foreplay and you can use your imagination at anytime. It also livens up the most boring tasks you end up having to do once you become a mother. Hanging out the washing whilst dreaming of what you and your lover will be getting up to later can turn a chore into a treat. This will also help you to ignore the temptation to get on top of all of the jobs you have been putting off rather than on top of your husband.

If you have small kids there is always the telly to “baby sit” them while you enjoy a quickie, but then you are listening with one ear for the pitter patter of feet down the hall or calls for "Muuuuuum!". This can be off putting, but as long as you have the door firmly shut and LOCKED and they are involved in their program you should be able to get away with it. Just make sure it is a quickie! It might be a good idea to use one of your quieter sex toys as it will be difficult to explain away the unusual sounds coming from mummy and daddy’s room!

However you organise or manage your time, make sure you don’t forget the importance of maintaining your sex life as it will solidify your and your partner’s relationship and you will both be stronger because of it.

Valentines Day Gift Ideas

You have 5 more shopping days until Valentine's Day.  

So, have you bought or made your gift yet, Plonkers?  I hear most of the men mumble "well, no" because, the majority of the men leave their gift-buying until the day before.  They get to the store and realise everything has doubled in price and its only the dregs that are left.  You land up getting your lovely 3-day-old roses and foosty chocolates. 

Not cool!  Here's a few brilliant ideas that she'll love. Trust me!

Go Visit EdenFantasys have some really sweet and naughty Valentines Day gift ideas if you Plonkers haven't started shopping already.  I have marked some things off on my wishlist.

Take a lookie-lookie at their romantic Valentines Lingerie, which they just happen to do in plus sizes, so us chunky lassies can hop into them too and get a bit of Frisky on.

Oh So Pretty!


Sweetheart Red Lace Teddy $26.99



I Love you Baby Doll $34.99

If romantic lingerie doesn't juice yer lemon, EdenFantasys also have Massage Oil Candles, which claim to be "Better than Roses".  Hot or Wot?

Or why don't you indulge your lovely lady with a bottle of sweet smelling Perfume to get your motor racing?  However, if your sinus allergies do not approve of her musky scents, try all their different kinds of saucy Books and DVDs - guaranteed to get both yer fancies tickled.

EF even have a bunch of Beauty, Body, Makeup and Skincare products which will make your partner smack of hotness.  But, if your foxy female doesn't enjoy pots, potions and lotions, you could get yer jollies on with their fun Games and Gags.

Your one-stop Valentine's Day Shoppe!

Go get something for your wantun woman and if there is just too much to choose from get her a Gift Certiciate and she can do her own shopping.  Oh and you know how us lassies love to shop! 

If you wanna slip in a wee something for me, feel free, just don't think that gives you the right to stalk me, Creepo.

Happy Dildo Shopping!

On the 9th Day of Christmas...

On the 9th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me....


...Nine Ladies Dancing.

But unless they are either Vintage French Can-Can dancers, or So You Think You Can Dance contestants, I'm not really interested.  SYTYCD season is far from starting and I'm a kazillion miles from France to see real kick arse Can-Can dancers...

So, I'll just compromise and go for 9 inch vibrating dildo.  Oh I know, the 9 inch variety are always a little extra and pretty pricey but its worth the additional dollars for the additional inches.  Bigger is better, right?

Firstly, I can always get the Chinky knock off, right?  And, secondly, if #5 on my 12 Days of Christmas List comes to fruition, I will have something to go along with the 9 inch member.

Adult toys are fabulous accessory and I have a few but lately my stash has been drastically dwindling because I am rather careless with my sex toys.  I don't look after them as I should....so I think its time for a new one.  This Frosty Purple Monster even has a frikken strobe light!  How festive is that?  It would look BANGIN in my Christmas stocking - and its waterproof! 

Sorted!

A Daft Scots Lass' 12 Days of Christmas song grows :

9 Inch Vibrating Dildo
8 Shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick!

♥ EdenFantasys Giveaway ♥

HO! HO! HO!

Not that kinda Ho - the Christmassy kind, dirty Plonkers!


With Christmas just around the corner, we should be thinking of those special gifts to get your partner, right? 


Lucky for you, with the help of wee me, I am going get your shopping started early this year! Yip, tis soon the season to be jolly, generous and randy.

I'm so shit-a-rainbow-happy to announce that I'm giving away a $30 EdenFantasys Gift Certificate during the month of November.  I hope you guys enter seeing as last time I had a giveaway, it was much more successful and popular than I thought it would be. 

Now that I've done a thorough needs analysis of the ADSL waters, I clearly see that you adult-toy-loving-followers of mine, want the free saucy goodies.  Oh yeah! Gotta love a freebie giveaway, right?

So Plonkers, go visit EdenFantasys and check out their saucy costumes and lingerie, aromatic massage oils and edible gifts.  They have a wide range of sex toys and beyond the ordinary goodies for all you kinksters. 

They also have an entire Gift Centre for holiday gifts, which includes Love Cards.  They offer FREE shipping with orders over $59.  They have a FREE returns policy and they do same-day dispatch.  They offer a FREE gift with each purchase.  Pretty fucking on-the-ball if you ask me.

So here's the deal.  For each of these you do, you get one enter

• Leave a comment (must have a valid email address) about what you'd purchase from the website.
• Follow my Blog
• Follow me on Twitter @ADaftScot
• Put my button on yer blog (check my side bar)
• Follow @EdenFantasys on Twitter
• Blog About the Giveaway
• Put an EdenFantasys linky button on yer blog.
• Tweet about the giveaway: Win a $30 Gift Certficiate @ADaftScot @EdenFantasys http://gillianhefer.blogspot.com/2011/10/edenfantasys-giveaway.html
• Visit and Follow EdenCafé Blog

Remember to leave an individual comment for each entry. 


The Winner will be chosen by random.org on 19 November and the voucher will be emailed to you.

Show Yer Ta-Tas Some Love!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and EdenFantasys are creating awareness of the disease and are running Video Competition to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure.  

Head on over there and you could win a gift basket with $500 of luxury pink toys from EdenFantasys.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month also offers information and support to those affected by breast cancer as well as providing a platform for breast cancer charities to raise awareness of their work and of the disease and early detection.

A way you can become a part of this is by doing regular breast self-examinations and have your annual mammogram.  By doing your self-examination you can detect the disease early and save your life!

Here's how to do you own 5 Step Breast Exam:

1. Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your shoulders straight and your arms on your hips. Now, raise your arms and look for the same changes.
2. While you're at the mirror, look for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).
3. Next, feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few finger pads of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together. Use a circular motion, about the size of a quarter.
4. Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side — from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage. Follow a pattern to be sure that you cover the whole breast. You can begin at the nipple, moving in larger and larger circles until you reach the outer edge of the breast. You can also move your fingers up and down vertically, in rows, as if you were mowing a lawn. This up-and-down approach seems to work best for most women. Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breasts: for the skin and tissue just beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breasts; use firm pressure for the deep tissue in the back. When you've reached the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage
5.  Finally, feel your breasts while you are standing or sitting. Many women find that the easiest way to feel their breasts is when their skin is wet and slippery, so they like to do this step in the shower. Cover your entire breast, using the same hand movements described in Step 4.

EdenFantasys Giveaway

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