Friday, 9 December 2011

On the 9th Day of Christmas...

On the 9th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me....

...Nine Ladies Dancing.

But unless they are either Vintage French Can-Can dancers, or So You Think You Can Dance contestants, I'm not really interested.  SYTYCD season is far from starting and I'm a kazillion miles from France to see real kick arse Can-Can dancers...

So, I'll just compromise and go for 9 inch vibrating dildo.  Oh I know, the 9 inch variety are always a little extra and pretty pricey but its worth the additional dollars for the additional inches.  Bigger is better, right?

Firstly, I can always get the Chinky knock off, right?  And, secondly, if #5 on my 12 Days of Christmas List comes to fruition, I will have something to go along with the 9 inch member.

Adult toys are fabulous accessory and I have a few but lately my stash has been drastically dwindling because I am rather careless with my sex toys.  I don't look after them as I I think its time for a new one.  This Frosty Purple Monster even has a frikken strobe light!  How festive is that?  It would look BANGIN in my Christmas stocking - and its waterproof! 


A Daft Scots Lass' 12 Days of Christmas song grows :

9 Inch Vibrating Dildo
8 Shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver's Satay Chicken on a Stick!


Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Oh my, haha.

Lesley said...

It's like Christmas.....every day!

Sandra said...

I need a dildo. I have a kink in my neck! lol!
Love ya bitch!

Mynx said...

Yes please, especially in purple :)

CheesyDoug said...

Oh, nine inches is big? ::puffs chest out cockily::

::Hopes no one calls his bluff::

The Glebe Blog said...

Stay clear of the 'Chinky Knockoffs'.I know someone who was using one and coming close to her peak when suddenly it started to speak saying "This tape will self destruct in five seconds".
Talk about an anti-climax.
Mind you in my experience she was a 'Mission Impossible"

Jene said...

I am laughing my ass off! I think you're one of my new favorite blogs. Purple is my favorite color!

blogdramedy said...

If the tree is rocking'...Santa? Don't bother knockin' *snicker*

ThePropagandaMachine said...

I wouldn't choose the strobe vibrator...depending on the number of watts contained in that strobe light, I think I'd be somewhat threatened by the possible rave taking place in my gf's uterus.


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