Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Whether you're teeming with frustration, overwhelmed with envy, or just plain in the mood, there are unlimited reasons to blast off an insult. From fuck words to long-winded dialogues, back-handed compliments to in-yer-face jeers, sometimes you've gotta say what's really on yer mind.
The personal benefits of releasing such negative energy far outweigh someone else's hurt feelings, especially if they're a raging Plonker!
You'll feel empowered, in control, and generally truck loads better about yerself by taking down those doochebags around you. In today's world, niceness is completely overrated.
Philosophers understand that the pleasure of a skillfully delivered insult, and the frequently ensuing amusement, comes from the enjoyment of contrasting our own superiority with the foibles of others.
Often we're in a situation where the moment presents itself to deliver the perfect cracker of a doozy but we're at a loss for what to say and what to insult. Only afterwards do we think of what we should have said. When this happens just remember The theory of relativity.
Relatively speaking, someone is always fatter or skinnier, older or younger - even if only by a few ounces or days. If they're dumber than a doorknob, pick on their intelligence (this is a personal favourite of mine). If they're smarter, mock their arrogance. If they're mean, impugn their character. If, on the other hand, you find yourself at the receiving end of a disparaging remark, you'll need a witty comeback.
It's the survival of the fittest and morons lurk everywhere.
Despite the age-old saying that "words will never hurt me" but we all know that a biting comment can be a devastatingly effective slap in the face.
It's not easy being fucking mean but it sure is fun!