Saturday, 10 December 2011

Blogfestivus Day #10

On the 10th Day of Christmas my true love sent to me...

...Ten Lords-a-Leaping

But it just doesn't sound right.

I have this sordid, vivid image in my head of naked fugly fat blokes playing leap frog with other lardy blokes.  I know you cannot visualise but it even sounds suspect and so unappealing.  Highly offensive indeed and I know offensive.  I’m the Offensive Queen.

Henceforth, I’d rather the song go: 

Ten Seasons of Big Bang Theory.  
Now, I know 10 seasons sounds like a LOT of Big Bang Episodes but I worship this show.  Its my ultimate favourite!  You don’t understand how much I look forward to my weekly BBT fix every week.  I dream of the geek that is Sheldon Cooper.  So that’s why I’d rather see him sporting crown, than 10 royal fuglies.

And thus:

"10 Seasons of Big Bang Theory
9 Inch Vibrating Dildo
8 Shots of Botox
7 Priceless Plonkers
6 Penguin Biscuits
5 Gigs of Porn
4 Liverpool Blokes
3 Brontë Sisters
2 Jimmy Choos
And Jamie Oliver’s Satay Chicken on a Stick"


Mike Smith said...

Only five gigs of porn...?

Mynx said...

Love BBT. Used to call my son Sheldon but then he got a pretty gf.
So now I call him Leonard

Bushman said...

Damn it I missed a few days. I don't internet much during the week. Stupid work and stuff.
With all that porn, dildos and a geek I'm not sure what will be next. Fun stuff though always good for a laugh!

Mo said...

Oh dear that first image you suggested has stuck in my head. yuck

Cyn said...

we are bbt geeks too -- am i weird that i like howard the best? lol!

anywho -- i am totally in love with this whole series of blog posts!!!


Lady Estrogen said...

That is fucking fabulous, darling.
I, too, am a BBT freak ;)
And penguins? Oh hell yeah!

Lesley said...

I love BBT! I never, ever miss it!

Michael Offutt, Expert Critic said...

I love your list. As a fellow BBT enthusiast, I invite you to all twitter conversations that I have regarding the show with my friend @StphSchmidt. We sometimes begin with "knock knock Steph, knock knock steph, knock knock steph?"

To which she responds, "Yes, Michael" Just like Penny would do.

~The whole universe was in a hot dense sleep...~

bill lisleman said...

Leap lords have more action though.

blogdramedy said...

I suspect you'll never think of the 12 Days of Christmas in the same way ever again. :-)

The Glebe Blog said...

Ten Big Bangs would do me.
I well remember the days when yer mate wid ask the question "Did ye get yer hole last night"
I don't even play golf nowadays.ha ha
Non Scots may wonder whit am talkin' aboot.
Do as the constipated mathematician did, work it out with a pencil


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