Thursday, 19 April 2012

She couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner

The letter Q is always a difficult one in any blog challenge.  But this, for me, was actually an easy one. Did you Plonkers check out my video I did for the A to Z Blog Challenge?

Today's Motto

Quiet Time

As a working mum of two wee lassies, I constantly multi-task and play many roles.   I am a nurse, a therapist, a negotiator, a judge.  I play, I shout, I sing, I plead, I bribe, I discipline - but most Mum's wouldn't change it for the world!  I am one of them.

With all this said, I know I certainly don't get enough Quiet Time.  QT meaning a half an hour to yourself to do whatever YOU want to do.  It could be reading a book in your favourite chair, taking a candle-lit bubble bath, practising yoga or mediation, even prayer. 

We all have different ideas about Quiet Time but, for me, essentially it means taking time out and doing something for ONLY ME.  Having my hair done, doing my nails, shopping ALONE and not for groceries, these are my QT treats.  Pity that no one can gift you Quiet Time.  I need to make time for Quiet Time.

Today's Insult is


This is a word I only discovered a couple of years ago. I never knew it existed.  I knew what it was, I just didn't call it that.  It was always a Fanny Fart in my eyes.  I love this word and I enjoy calling random bitches, Queef Queens.  Half of them don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, which makes  all the more funny to me.  I thought of inserting a Queef You Tube video here but some of them are really fucking disgusting so I'm going to save you the horror. 

Here's the animated version instead.



Bushman said...

So I'm not the only one who thought of Queef. Hah!

YeamieWaffles said...

That's very inventive of you to use the word queef Lass. When I seen this post originally I was sure the word queer was going to come up to this was a cool change of pace. Great post as usual.

Addman said...

I always thought Queen Latifah was a play on the word Queef. Great choice of word.

Natalie Leung said...

Quiet time indeed is great ! :)


A Beer for the Shower said...

As an American, I find Fanny Fart funnier. But that's just me. Also, don't think that Quiet Time is reserved to parents only... It's like sex, because I love when I get some, but it doesn't happen often.

Stephen Tremp said...

What can be funnier than farting? Well, its funny if I'm the one doing it. Its not funny if someone else is.

JanM ♥ said...

LMAO @ queef! Hahahaha! :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog! New follower!


Matt Harvath said...

Awesome! Queef is one of the funnest words in the English Language.

Chiz said...

I contemplated doing 'queef' for a solid 2 hours, but decided against it as I have no experience in the art. However, I would love to buy a plain tee where the only word on it is 'queef'. It's been a dream of mine for some time.

Xmasdolly said...

Loved your video, and your word I never heard of, but farting nah I don't think it's so funny except this one time I seen it in a commercial where the guy's date gets in the car rips one off and then he gets in and says, "Oh honey, did you meet John & Mary? Who was sitting in the back seat the whole time. Now that was funny, Thanks for stopping by you always put a smile on my face. Have a great day!

Not So Simply Single said...

Hilarious! :)

David Macaulay said...

OMG - you are always such an education. Must use this word next time I'm at a function.

Nancy Thompson said...

I've seen your name all over the blogs, especially Alex Cavanuagh's. I can't believe I've never made it over here myself. Now I have and I'm a follower. Sorry for being so late.

So is queef a Scottish term or is that South African? It's sounds almost too tame. As for quiet time and your kiddos, well, as the mother of a 17 year old who's just about to fly the nest, I say hold on to the noise and chaos because before you know it, it's all too quiet.

Claire Hennessy said...

Oh I love the word Queef too. Although Fanny Fart is funny too. You are gonna love my blog tomorrow, so pop over if you have time. Should be right up your street. On a different note, hope your family is ok after horror of yesterday.

Texas Playwright Chick said...

Great post! I don't get any quiet time, unless I stop and meditate, which I started doing regularly lately just to get some of that Quiet Time - yay!

Queef - totally forgot about that word! LOL!!!

Texas Playwright Chick

W.C.Camp said...

OMG - I learn the most horrid things reading your blog ... but I love it!

Dazediva said...

Impressive video ! Thanks for sharing, I actually didn't see it before even though I tried to check out the challenge videos

Queef is a wicked word, not too many people actually know it.

Quiet Time .. *sigh* I think it only exists in my imagination

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@Bushman we're two peas in a pod, dude.

@Waffles I would NEVER attack the darlin Queers! Neva!

@Addman @JanM Thanx Plonker!

@Natalie @Nancy @TPC thanx for the visit. come back soon :-)

@ABeerfortheShower Yeah, but I guess Fanny means something different to you than it does to me, right?

@Stephen I beg to is just as funny if someone else does it. As long as is doesn't smell, right?

@Matt Agreed!

@Chiz I dare you and post a pic on yer blog. I'll come and visit, point and laugh and wish I had one.

@XmasDolly I think that video the Monster-In-Law was sittin in the backseat! LOL

@David I dare ye! Video tape it and put it on YouBoob!

@Not So Simply Single *mwah*

@Claire won't forget, sweetie.

@WCC nothing more valuable than an education, my friend!

@DazeDiva thanx - that video took loads of editing!

Crazeebee747 said...

Queef - now I have learnt something new


Related Posts with Thumbnails