Friday, 19 November 2010

55 Freaky Friday Shizzle - Office Christmas Parties

Join me and G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55. Try writing a complete story in only 55 words.  I did this one in exactly 5.5 minutes (it shows but I left my Friday post far too late)…

‘Tis almost the season to be jolly
Fa La La and all that folly

Christmas is full of prezzies and fun

Family, friends, dry Fruit Bun

We love the anticipation

We love the spirit

Eating ourselves silly on festive food, gerrit?

Santa, don’t give us junk we don’t want

Listen, and don’t be a cunt

BWS tips button
I'm venting again this week with Boobies' Fawk You Friday.

Fuck you to the allergies that have infected my children's bodies this week.  I have no Medical Aid (Medical Insurance) left until January and I have to pay the Doctor's fees cash upfront and its not frikken cheap!  Neither is the fucking meds that he prescribes.  Luckily, I can claim it all back from The Tax Man but only at the end of the tax year, Dipshit! 

This made me think of one of my favourite Beatles songs..enjoy!


Freaky Friday
Theme : Freaky Office Christmas Parties

Are your Office Christmas parties as Freaky mine?

I dreads the office Christmas Party at the end of the year because there's always one Fucker who drinks way too many bevvies and lands up trying to put his tongue in yer ear.  There's usually some Dooshbag who does a very unsexy strip-tease down to her nylon tights, flesh-coloured bra and parachute knickers.  Not attractive...

There is always The Freaky Voyeur who parks in the dark corner like a drip snapping pictures and taking video footage of all the inebriated activities and then thinks its hysterical to post the footage on You Tube and images on Facebook for all to see. 

There is always some sad Bitch who drinks too many margaritas and pours her heart to you - confessing her dark freaky secret and then you're supposed to look at her in the eye for the rest of the year.  All of a sudden, you've become her BFF just because she told you her Twisted Sex Secret that she loves to be covered from head to toe in cling wrap in the bedroom. 

Don't forget the asshole who requests Boney M from the DJ every half an hour.  Is Christmas the ONLY time of year we dust off our Boney M LP's?  Oh yeah, I know you've got one hiding in your collection too.  Oh, I can hear you singing Little Drummer Boy already....  Barruppa Pum-Pum...

What about the old hag from Accounts, who is ninety-in-the-shade, who insist on wearing the most ridiculous and embarrassing home-made Christmas outfits complete with jingling bauble earings and living up to her "jolly" name?  Ho Ho HO!

Are your office Christmas Parties like this?

Or is it just me that works for a bunch of fucking weirdos and freaks?

Slobbering Boss trying to tongue fuck your ear
Wanna suck on Rudolf's Red Bits?

Forget the Tree. 
Why don't you all gather around me this year?


Copyboy said...

Wow! Santa is a bit different by you than over here in the colonies. BTW...I am that out of control drunk at the X-mas parties. Tonguing everyones' ears. I'm pathetic.

jacksofbuxton said...

Christmas parties are never a problem for me.I run my own business as a sole trader,so I'm the only one there.

Brian Miller said...

ha. hope the jolly fat man listens and is good to you...smiles.

Akelamalu said...

Ah you're getting into the Festive spirit already! Great 55 hon. :)

G-Man said...

Jillie Bean...?
Do I have ESP?
How would anyone you played today?
I missed You and just happened to wander over here..Grrrrrr......
Loved your 55 BTW, even though you blew me right off. (And not in a good way I might add).
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

arnyke said...

great video!

Monkey Man said...

Calling Santa a cunt? You may end up with coal in your stocking. Great post, Lass.


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