Wednesday, 30 May 2012

How to Insert your UserName and Password

Have you Plonkers ever pondered how many UserNames and Passwords and PinCodes you remember each day?

It mind fucks me.

I was lying in bed one Friday night thinking of how many gadgets we use that need pin codes and how many websites and tools we use that we need User Names and Passwords.

It's actually incredible how we log into our network in the morning and pop in our passwords without giving it much thought. It's like riding a bike, or driving a car - after a while you just get in and do it without even thinking.

We have passwords and pin codes for everything! To retrieve messages on our mobile phones, to find out how many free minutes we have left on our mobile contract, when we draw money from our local ATM or do internet banking. When we log into our network in the morning at work, that's four or five passwords already!

How about logging on to your Blogger account or downloading your internet emails? More fuckin' UserNames and passwords.
But thats just the beginning...what about logging on to your favourite Forum for a chat? or all the bookmarked websites that we register on? More passwords. Then we go to gym and log in to record our workout, we get back to the office, pop in a pin code for the front door security, we get to our desks to find that our screensaver has kicked on - another password.
Well, you get the general idea right?

Isn't it amazing how we remember all these numbers and information? They're stored deep in some obscure data retrieval section of our brain (right next to our profrontal cerebal cortex or something...). We pick up the phone and dial friends' or clients' numbers without even thinking.
And the mad scientists state we only use 10% of our brain power?

No Fucking way, José?

Imagine what we could achieve if we only used 50% of our brain power? We'd all be fucking Einsteins!!
The question is, how do we get our brains to increase this percentage and use more brain power? Do we need to train our brain? Is there a quick 2-day Dale Carnegie course to learn to do this? I'm sure that we could educate our brain to increase its workload, but who would be smart enough to write the book on it or develop a course for us to attend to learn to do this?

He'd be one stinkin' rich Fucker by now or have taken over the universe single-handedly without us "ten percenters" suspecting a goddam thing.
That made me think of Pinky and the Brain teaming up with Sheldon Cooper.
Perhaps there could be a soopa pill we could simply swallow, or a highly invasive surgical procedure - complete with jaggy anal probes - that we could partake to achieve this?

Hey, we all wanna be smarter, right?With all the latest modern technology, surely some Master Mind Mensa Member should've devised a technique to assist us by now? 

Come on, Neurologists, throw us "ten percenters" a bone here...
Then again, if we were all prodigy geniuses, the inteillgence bar would be permanently raised.  We'd then be trying to achieve 70% or 80% of our brain power and we'd all be wearing masks and capes and flying around like fucking super heros.

And depending on your disposition, you'd either be screwing the 'TenPercenters-of-the-world' in the arse for a quick scam, or you'd be sucessfully saving the world from global warming and flying to mars.Are we ready for that?
I really must stop having these late night ponderings. I sound completely fuckin nutterz.


Laura said...

I dont use 10% of my brain! I forget passwords daily *sigh*

I write them down then cant remember which one is which!

Gillian said...

I only use a fraction of that 10% too.

Matt said...

I have remember a 64 character password when I start up my computer since its encrypted! So many different passwords, but I took some advice from the world memory champion that helped me remember things quite a bit!

"No Fucking way, José?"
LOL I'd have to say sorry but José is full of it, the 10% thing is only a myth :[

Semi Madman said...

I hate passwords. I ended up buying some password program. It automatically captures your login name and password. The next time you go to the site, it will login for you. I love it.

But...If it ever gets erased or my computer goes crazy, I am fucked!!! I have about 70 passwords in there for various sites. DAMN! Your post has made me realize that I need a backup plan. Thanks! I owe you big time! And it wasn't even your intention, it was just a rant. You blog is magical. You help people without trying to!


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