Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Caption My Photo Competition #58

Hiya lovely Plonkers, I had an interesting conversation with a colleague today about booty calls and talking dirty. 

Being single and not having time for a steady boyfriend, my colleague mentioned that she hasn't had any bed action in a while.  I told her that surely she has someone in her past that she can booty call.  Someone that could dust away the cobwebs with no strings attached.  She said she wouldn't know how to ask for something like that, as she's been out of the dating game for a while. 

She asked me for some advice.

I wondered why she'd want to take advice from a 40 year old who has been out of the dating game for 14 years!  She said she's never been able to booty call anyone, let alone talk dirty.  She said she always felt too self-conscious. 

What advice would you give to her?  How does an attractive, middle-aged woman who needs a good shag, phone an ex-fling up and request a booty call without giving the bloke any expectations of anything other than just a one-night thing?

It's Toozday, my lovelies, so that means you get to caption a daft image of mine and win one of my Daft Scots Lass tattoos. 

I found this marvel recently and thought it would elicit some creative juices and waggish witicisms from you brilliant bunch.

Go, do it.  Caption it.


The Bright Side of Life said...

Do I dare comment!!! :)

Tell your colleague to find a nice toy boy and that way she can have a wonderful time and there will be no strings attached!! But you must promise not to call her Mrs Robinson!!!

Wish I could think of a witty caption for your *ring a ding* photo! I have been reading Mr Grey, therefore any one liners that come to mind are much too rude to write down!!

Gotta go... My inner goddess is telling me that she wants a cup of tea!

Have a great day! :)

Kim @ This Belle Rocks said...

Eh....I couldn't go to an ex for that, to be honest. They are exes for a reason, after all!

BTW, the graphic above your "about me" blurb? PRICELESS! You are a kindred spirit and my kind of blogger!

Slamdunk said...

How about this: "Dear there is No Need for this Antique Phone, Covering My Face with a Paperbag Has Been More than Adequate in Facilitating My Share of One-Night-Stands."

Wreckless Euroafrican said...

"Lets face it, you don't have a head for descent conversation!"

The Glebe Blog said...

Slip it quietly into a friendly conversation, for example. "Seems like we're due for some lovely weather, no chance of a shag I suppose? "
She might just get lucky. She would with this old reprobate.LOL

"I know we're having some issues, but I can't seem to connect with you. I think we have a communication problem."

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those phones look uncomfortable.
I think your friend is making it too difficult. All she has to do is ask.

Xmasdolly said...

For pity sakes! Why do you always start a conversation and never finish it, but you always have to make sure you have the last word!!!

grins said...

This is what happened to people on party lines before 900 numbers.

As for your friend, have her go into a bar, walk up to a man, and say, "Nice shoes. Want to screw.?" It works much better for women than men, at least it did when women used to do that to me.

YeamieWaffles said...

The man's so ugly, you're only allowed to speak to him through the telephone, or maybe something about him begging the woman to blow... his nose, I have no idea haha.

As for the advice, I don't have any idea either Lass. I'm pretty naive when it comes to the concept of "booty calls," I won't lie.

Mark said...

Guys don't want anything more than that.

Joshua said...

Caption: "Bluetooth Prototype #1 - Results: Neck Pain."

As for your colleague, I'm not sure. There were two girls in high school and one in college that we re-return, and it was more like "Hey, we're both single and wanting and whatnot. Let's get it on." Nothing else was said; everything was implied. All that to say I'm not sure what the trick is, unless it's just the one that clicks and thinks along those same lines. Just don't fall in love. Or do, and roll the dice.


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