Tuesday, 5 June 2012

I always start blogging with a clean post and a dirty mind. Now, Caption My Daft Photo, my Plonkers

I must admit Plonkers, I've been a lazy boring blogger since the hype and craziness of the A to Z Blog Challenge. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I've lost my blogging mojo again.

I detest when this happens because it means I'll open a clean blog post and stare at it pondering what I should write about.


You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Usually, I can write throw together a half-decent semi-funny post in about 15 minutes and bam! done and dusted.  I tell you the unpleasant truth, Plonkers.  I normally don't think too much about it, I just write down the words as I think them.  I hardly ever spell check (I know I'm guilty) and I am someone who does most things fast.

I walk fast, I talk fast, I blog fast.  Hey Fuckers, don't judge me.  I'm a wife and a working mum, with two wee lassies who have truck-loads of extra-mural activies, who need a mum's taxi to ship them around, always have semi-healthy snacks in her over-size (but oh-so-trendy) handbag and juice on tap from a container in the car.

I get up at 6am to feed the cat and 2 dogs, take them out to pee, wake up my girls, make the breakfast, make and pack their lunch boxes, make sure their school bags have all the necessary things they'll need for that day, including changes of clothes for after-care.  Make sure they don't look like orphans going to school by helping them get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair (knowing all the latest hairs trends helps) and all this before 7am.  Then I have about, oh, 10 minutes to get myself ready.  Thank God, I'm naturaly beauty.

I could go on and on about my typically fucking hectic busy routine during the day, but I will refrain from boring you to uncontrollable sobs and eating your own hair and shite.

When the FUCK do you think I get time to think about my next blog post?

Gimme a bloody break

Normal Blogging Mojo will return shortly.

Don't pressure me, okay

Right on to more pressing matters....

Caption this Doozie...












15 comments:

grins said...

I'm not a frikkin lime you idiot, besides you put de lime in de coconut, DEN you feel betta. O doctor.

Not So Simply Single said...

Fuck, I am exhausted reading this. You do all of that and remain looking smoking hot. Wow, what a woman!

You will get your mojo back. You challenged yourself and you did it. It is tough to blog every day. I did it for a while to keep a practice of writing. Then I said, "fuck it" and blog about three to four times a week.

Your picture is funny.... will have to think about that a bit because no caption is jumping out at me....

xoxox

Melanie said...

First of all, you have nothing to apologize for...your posts are always awesome, and real life and your family are way more important!

And the picture...
And if you touch my precious Piggy again, this goes up your ass!

Stacey Vee said...

Congrats! I see you're a finalist in the SA's Best Mommy Blogger wee little compo. Fallen in love with your blog all over again! I really MUST visit more often; you make me laugh like I'm going to bust a rib!

My caption: "Do you think this fuzzy testicle needs a wax?"

Mark said...

I totally believe you when you write that you normally don't think too much about it as you write. And that's what makes you funny and interesting. It bores me to death to read something that sounds like the blogger searched for days for the perfect words and lines. You know what I'm talking about.
I hope you get your mojo back soon. m.

YeamieWaffles said...

I'm not keen on the muppets so I can't really think of a caption today Lass but I just wanted to say that you'll definitely get your blogging mojo back, honestly I didn't even notice you'd lost it, your posts have remained as great in my opinion!

cat said...

Oh your life sounds so much like mine....

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If you lost your mojo, I didn't notice!

Xmasdolly said...

You're apologizing for something... no clue for what... you confuse me sometimes I'll tell you - Okay caption. How about: I said, "Cocoa my mut" NOT coconut! Aughhhhhhh

Mike Smith said...

That's the last time I audition for The Nutcracker...

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

When FOzzie Bear tells bad jokes, the audience doesn't always throw tomatoes... OH THE HUMANITY!!


And when your brain is working faster than your fingers, why not vlog? You do such a good job with it...

Maurice Mitchell said...

Gillian, that's amazing! 15 minutes? It's takes me three minutes just to write a comment! LOL

grins said...

My second wife got all cranky. She was older than you. I took her to the vet and had her put down. I'm sure I didn't contribute to her state of mind.

I haven't seen you that stressed yet. At least you haven't popped off any rounds at your neighbors have you?

I think you blog just fine. Haven't missed a beat that I can tell. Wasn't sure what you were going on about.

Ducky said...

Damnit. Now I feel like a slacker.

And I am still laughing at Grins caption. I vote for that one! (<--mostly because where ever your mojo is vacationing it totally took mine with it. Seriously. Did ya SEE my post today?!...so yeah...)

Wreckless Euroafrican said...

Kiwi? Kiwi my ass - that's a coconut!
Salagatle!

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