Friday, 14 October 2011

Friday Follower #13 and a Shoegasm


This week's Featured Friday Follower is Amy Reynolds, who brings to us this guest post with her advice on new relationships.  Her work is centered on topics such as this for Best Adult Dating Sites.

The Dreaded Past:  How to let it go in Your New Relationship
Whenever you find yourself in a relationship with a new man, everything is smooth, easy sailing in the beginning.  You are spending all of your free time with him, checking your phone in anticipation of his middle of the work-day texts that are guaranteed to make your entire afternoon, and counting down the minutes until you see him again…I mean the love story you feel unfolding between the two of you is nothing short of a Nicholas Sparks novel. 

Then it strikes, out of nowhere.  The curiosity about his ex.  The jealousy.  Before you know it, your man is taking a shower and you are desperately trying to crack the password on his phone, you’re looking over his shoulder when he’s checking his email, and you’re agonizing over every inch of his Facebook page, going so far as to analyze each and every wall post…all to find out who the women were who came before you.

What do we do this to ourselves?
In most cases, your new man’s ex-girlfriends have very little to zero ramifications at all in regard to your new relationship.  So why does our curiosity of those women and their past relationships with your man really matter?  Let’s face it.  You’ve been with other guys before him…and whether you like it or not, he’s been with other people too.  As hard as it can be to stomach the idea of your man caught up in the throes of a tender romance with another woman…stomach it you must.  

 So let go of the past--it will always be there and you will never be able to change it. 

Questions sure to send him running for the hills.
We as women sometimes let our emotions take over and the wrong questions just spill out, like water from a floodgate.  If you start to unnecessarily delve into your lover’s past, it can trigger some serious red flags for him.  When you find yourself wanting to ask every detail related to your new partner’s past relationship—stop yourself.  Questions like how many people have you kissed, how many people have you slept with, what was your ex-girlfriend like, etc. will not only send up the red flags…there will be huge, flashing, glaring, red billboards with the word “insecure” stretched across it--and there is nothing more unattractive to a man than a raging case of insecurity.  The only important question you need to ask is about his sexual history (that is if you are sexually active with this man) because that could have an influence on your health.  Other than that, do your best to leave the past in the past and embrace your relationship.

Bad habits are hard to break.
Whenever you obsess over your man’s past it can turn into a very bad habit that can be extremely difficult to break once you’ve started.  Even though you know you’re far more fabulous than his ex, you can even get to a point where you’re comparing yourself to her.  Instead of reminding your new boyfriend of his past, you should be concentrating on building your own relationship with him…making him glad it never worked out with her and overjoyed that someone as stunning as you walked into his life. 

A bright future ahead…
Beginning a new relationship is beautiful thing.  There is no need to tarnish a time that should be happy with discussions of your man’s previous escapades with another woman.  The bottom line is that it will only lead to problems, arguments, and doubt over a past that should have nothing to do with the relationship you are in now. 
When it comes down to questions that you know are unimportant and have zero relevance to the situation you share with your man, do not ask a question if you can’t handle the answer.  If you are ever having a weak moment where you find yourself basking in your insecurities, just remind yourself that there is a reason he is no longer with his ex…he is with you now because he was ready to move on and start again.  So you should do the same!  Concentrate on moving forward and enjoy your new-found love. 

Thanx Amy for agreeing to guest post for me.

Now on to some sweet, sweet pretties!

No affordable shoes this week.  Just pretty, droolicious expensive designer shoes

Briant Atwood - Rene Blue Amarillo Menta Suede
Heel Condoms.  This is a BRILLIANT concept to jazz up last season's heels.
Jimmy Choo
Christian Dior - LambSkin, Suedue, Calfskin, rope and feather sandals with 12cm heel

Christian Louboutin 2011 Miss America Multicolor Sandal $161.00 @ discounthervelegerdress

My problem is that I'm running out of space for all my shoes and heels.  I need one of  THESE.  Any one soopa handy who can make me a Shoe Display Rotisary?


LynNerd said...

I'm getting a jump on the blog hop a day early!

Dazee Dreamer said...

sweet, sweet, sweet shoes.

Deidre said...

Those are some great tips! I've always thought that when the guy is ready he'll talk to me about his past - and IC did just that! But I've still never directly asked how many people he has slept with (and we're getting married). I just don't really think it's any of my business.

those polka dotted heels are FAB

blueviolet said...

Your advice about the ex is rock solid, but I still find it impossible not to ask a leeeeeetle something!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@Dazee You KNOW it!

@Deidre sometimes its best we don't know.

@blueviolet what have you got to loose?


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