Sunday, 8 January 2012

Work is the curse of the drinking classes

It's back to work tomorrow for us Proletariate DoocheNozzles.


Return to early mornings and hectic rushing to get two wee lassies fed, watered and ready for school. Making pony tails, quick and nasty breakfasts, ensuring they're wearing clean knickers with no skids, making and packing nuturitional and inventive lunch boxes, feeding the dog and cat, making beds, packing school books and relevant sports gear in a separate bags, separating bickering girls, packing my gym bag in between nagging for hair and teeth to be brushed.


Return to getting all the bags are packed into the car, it usually looks like I'm packing to go away for a fucking camping weekend with a boot full to the brim! Then it is time to get the dog rounded up and inside, before I locate my house keys and put the house alarm on.


Return to the idling car where I drive to School #1 to drop off Girl #1, drive to School #2 to drop off Girl #2. This is usually when I realise that I've left something at home.

It's almost 98.82% guaran-fuckin-teed that I leave at least ONE thing at home. One important item that I can't do without during the day and that I'll have to turn around and go back home for.

It's generally my phone, my pursue or keys for my office.


And all that before 8am!

Return to my hotbox that is my wee office, my desk, crappy office tea. Switching on my computer that fell of the ark and checking my hundreds of emails, which normally takes me at least half the day to sort through after being away for such a long time.


No more lounging by the pool with a glass of wine, no more watching endless crappy TV series programmes by the dozen, no more pointless outings to the shops just because I get to oogle pretty shoes I can't afford. No more running around in my undies and vest tops with no shoes and no bra.


There is ONE consolation to all of this.

My Wonder Woman of-a-domestic-worker returns to work tomorrow. Can you say Whoooohooo with me? Woooo Fucking Hooooo!!!

That means, I no longer have to do daily loads of laundry, clean floors, wash walls, do dishes, tidy rooms, disinfect toilets, sweep, dust, pack away endless piles of toys and dirty clothes.

My three week's worth of year-end holiday is: Work away from Work.

So, I return with a heavy heart to sitting in front of teeny tiny 17" crappy computer monitor for seven hours a day with a broken mouse. Puting up with ringing phones, droning of ancient air-conditioners in the passage, endless requests from irrate clients, ten Sales Reps and one Sales Manager.

I have vowed that this year I'm not breaking my back. I won't earn any Noddy Badgets. I won't get any Extra Bonuses. I won't get any afternoons off just for the hell off it. I won't get paid for overtime. No pats on the back or genuine smiles.

It's true, hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?


Mynx said...

Nope, no sympathy from me. I haven't had a summer break so I have been envious of all of you who have.

Just wondering

How would you like to strut your stuff on my blog with a fabulous guest post?

YeamieWaffles said...

Sorry to hear you're back to work, it won't be as bad as you're thinking though, seriously, keep your head up and it will be all fine! Have a great day tomorrow, um, working!

G-Man said...

Poor Baby!

Mel said...

Feeling your pain...I just returned to work after a week and a half off and I feel like I need another vacation again!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@Mynx I'd be honoured to guest post for ye.

@YWaffles thanx!

@G-Man do I detect a smidgen of sarcasm?

@Mel Och I know, two hours back at work, jumping in with both feet will make me feel as if I never left. Urgh!

A Beer for the Shower said...

Good grief, lady. It sounds like you accomplish more before 8am than I do all day. Sounds like you need to hire the maid on as your personal assistant.

Michael Offutt, Visitor from the Future said...

I work all the time, am allergic to wine, and don't have a pool. Plus it's winter here while you are enjoying summer. However, may your first week back be a smooth transition. I'm keeping my jealousy in check.

Mike Smith said...

Wise words, Gillian.

Gia said...

Haha...I didn't have a break but I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK TOMORROW WWAAAAAAHHHH!!! Sorry.

The Glebe Blog said...

I could go on my soap box and start by saying "Back in my day, when life was hard..........", but I won't.
Instead, just think about what joy's your work etc.. brings you.
If that doesn't work, a sure fire method of making you feel good is to mutter under your breath all day those magic words 'Fuck 'em all'.

ArtSnark said...

I firmly believe not doing laundry is a vacation unto itself. Good luck getting back into the groove

JoeinVegas said...

I think you'd still rather be back working at home than working at work.

Xmas Dolly said...

Being o disability I don't work anymore, but there was a time 18 yrs in fact getting up at 5 a.m. throw clothes on (always got ready the night before), grabbed a yogurt & my coffee & off I went to try to get a good parking spot to catch the train for an hour long ride to the windy city, Chicago Downtown. Then off the train to briskly walk five blocks to get to work on time as a legal secretary who worked her way up to Paralegal/legal assistant. for 18 yrs & am I glad that's over. SHEESH!

cat said...

Ag I feel just the same girl - thank goodness my sprogs only go back to school on the 18th so I have a bit of a breather for some of the items.

Babes Mami said...

I want a domestic worker but I'd rather not have to deal with the office/phone/small computer part.


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