Sunday, 5 February 2012

Rats *VERMIN*

We have a rats nest in our garden!

I HAVE THE FUCKING HEEBIE JEEBIES just thinking about it.

Ask me how I found out?

ASK ME!

Our cat, Pickles, brought in three presents into the house on Sunday.  By presents, I mean newborn squealing rats.  Fucking Rats, Plonkers!

Oh Geezo, I can't deal with squealing mini-rats.  I can't deal with ANY rats.  I can't deal with mice either.  Most people who know me well, know I am freaked out by vermin. 

On top of the cat playing with half-dead squealing rat-babies, R had to get rid of them because we can't put them back in the nest.  I can't bear to even look at them, let alone touch them or flush them down the toilet.

Give me teething nappies anyday, those poops that explode out of baby's nappy, travel up their back, soaking into their onezee and eventually caking into their hair.  Give me bile-filled gut spewing projectile puke-vomit.  Give me massive, hairy rain spiders the size of a fucking dinner plate.  Hell, even give me the horrible indestructible  spitting Parktown Prawn.  I can handle these things.

I can't handle VERMIN

Why?

Because in a few weeks time those shrieking rat baby's eyes will be open and they'll be scurrying around trying to invade my fucking house with their long creepy tails and hungry fucking squeals?!?! 

URGH  It's the most disguisting thing, ever.

How many babies does a rat have anyway?  How many more rat-babies is Pickles going to keep bringing into the goddamn house?

What if I wake up in the middle of the night and Pickles is making a squealing half-eaten deposit on my silk pillow?

Holy Shite, that would just freak me the fuck out.

Some people have phobias about spiders, some people have phobias about heights, some people hate crowds but

IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED I HAVE A PHOBIA ABOUT VERMIN. 

I won't sleep a wink tonight.  Not a fucking wink.

16 comments:

Huntress said...

Oh, Lordy! I can't stop laughing.

But I gotta say, you seem a little, um, agitated. Let your feelings out. Come on. Don't hold back. It isn't good for you.

*LMAO*

I was with you up to the hairy spiders.

YeamieWaffles said...

A rats nest? A whole nest? Wow, I get creeped just by thinking about it too actually, let's hope you guys get it sorted out and soon too!

mshatch said...

aw, they're cute!

G C said...

Eeek!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hopefully your cat takes his presents elsewhere next time.

Akelamalu said...

If that happened to me I'd have my bag packed and be checking into a hotel by now! :0

cat said...

Freeking out quietly with you.

Julia said...

Oh my hat! I got the creeps reading this post! I would also have freaked out. Just do whatever you need to do and KILL them. Seriously. Get a professional rat killer in if you must. As far as I know those things multiply like rabbits or whatever. *shivers*

Mike Smith said...

On the plus side - this time next week there'll be thousands of 'em and your phobia will be cured...

cyn said...

i about shit my pants when i found a teeny mouse nest in the garage -- a rat nest would definitely send me over the fuckin' edge!
ew
ew
ew
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Alistair said...

Jings - But I bet they feel the same way about you......

Lipstick and Licorice said...

I'd move to a motel under they were EXTERMINATED!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

Mark said...

Hey, I don't like rats either but those babies look so cute!
Just let the cat do what cats do. And you should have no problem.
m.

jenette or more commonly known as "j" said...

Amen! Rats are just not my cuppa rooibos!

Etta Reeses said...

That's just gross. I guess you're lucky that they were found?

Addman said...

That is one of the cutest pictures I have ever seen. However, I don't approve of what your cat is doing. Hand him a cease and desist notice.

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