Thursday, 19 November 2009

Christmas Cringe


We really need some fresh and updated Christmas Classics. Don’t you find that its always the same old boring toonz that adorn the festive radio waves at this time of year?  I’m getting a wee bit weary of them.  It actually makes me cringe.


• George Michael and his Last Christmas is just so old and dreary - just like most of the 80s.

• Squealing Mariah’s All I Want for Christmas Is You was simply a boob - just like her augmented chest.

• I’m dreaming of a Whiiiiite Creeesstmaaaas. Bing Crosby is dead peeps! What kinda name is Bing anyway?

Do They Know Its Christmas?. Bob Geldof is a bit of a nutter at the best of times - who in their right mind, names their daughter “Peaches”? This song is been murdered repeatedly at Christmas. I really do care about feeding the world, but someone should put the Band Aid over Bob’s oral cavity for good.

This year we should be rockin’ it out at Carols by Candlelight with Achmed the Dead Terrorist’s "Jingle Bombs" or  "Hey Santa Claus" Kevin Bloody Wilson - you know, stuff that makes us cheery and jolly, not stuff that has a mind-numbing affect and puts us into a light coma.

May the songwriters of the world unite and give us the gift of new-fangled funky toonz this festive season.






11 comments:

otin said...

You better watch out
shes going to cry
She's going to bitch
I'm, Telling you why...

Men-o-pause is coming to town!!

We could sing that!hahahaha!

Gillian said...

Speak for yourself Otin. I'm waaaay too young for menopause!

Nocturnal Queen said...

I like that Mariah Carey song and White Christmas by Bing Crosby. :-)

That Jeff Dunham video was hilarious! Achmed the Dead Terrorist is my favorite of his characters.

Dutch donut girl said...

Ok, that last video made me laugh out loud. It had a really hard ending, though ;)

blueviolet said...

Those videos are so hilarious!!!

angel said...

I'm with you!
Although I did find a CD a few years ago called "The Santa Sessions" that I quite like. Its SA artists doing the classics in their own styles!

WhisperingWriter said...

The name Bing is a bit strong.

Reminds me of Chandler Bing on friends.

Kathryn said...

Wow! It puts a whole new spin on
"Christmas Spirit"!!!

Drew said...

I hear ya. I'd rather be in drug rehab going through heroin withdrawl than to hear more of the same crap every year.

Blasé said...

Mommie's got great neck rhythm! Lucky Santa

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