Sunday, 1 November 2009

Camping Weekend - Camp Fuckers

There are always Camp Fuckers to be found..


First, you can't miss the South African Rugby Fanatics who buy a bakkie (aka truck) in their team's exact colour, kit out their cars with stickers and flags, wear the team shirt, the team hat and dress the obese wife and ice-cream munching kids in exact same sleeveless vests.  Very attractive.
The men parade around the camp with a ciggie in one hand, a beer in the other, their beer gut hanging over their short-shorts and their camp "pozzie" has every single purchasable Team paraphernalia that you can lay your hands on at the teeny weeny Camp Shop!  Team tattoos are a must!

Megan parking her bike next to a blue bulls kids bicycle with the Blue Blues Bakkie in the background.


The Second lot of Camp Fuckers you get are the Fitness Fanatics

These two dooshbags emerged at Dawn's Crack to road cycle from the resort to God-Knows where.... 
Yes, I do mean bicycle on the road for miles on end, complete with all the cycling gear and please note the designer 4x4 trailer with the trendy tent on top and home-made camper in the background.



It was then time to walk around the resort and find some more Camp Fucker types.

We Found the Television Fanatics. 

These plonkers decided it was a super fly idea not only to haul the television with them,
but completed the quiet bush trip with their Satelite Dish.  Hell, we'll even put up a 1970's floral umbrella to keep it cool!?
So much for a relaxing weekend away from home -
Why Bother???



Another Satelite Dish Camp Fucker! 
They place was crawling with them...


Then we came across this guy, he was obviously a Vehicle Fanatic.
Clearly incredibly proud of his particular mode of transportation...
with his bright red tractor with sun canopy and bright blue trailer!

It turns out his rivetting job was to drive around the camp site and pick up all the rubbish
(in his designer Jeep T-shirt, if you please)
Don't you love a guy who dresses for work...


When I initially walked past this next caravan of Camp Fuckers, I couldn't believe what I saw! 

Unfortunately there were too many family members sitting in a semi-circle outsite for me to take an inconspicuous pic at the time....but picture this....
All the adults were sitting outside while they baby was strapped into the pram parked about 6 inches from the blaring television screen.  WTF?  Digital baby sitter. 
Not only that, placed in the middle of the semi-circle of giggling Camp Fuckers, was a naked toddler happily splashing in a bucket of water. 
The resort has four different pools, people and your child is swimming in a bucket??

I decided to walk back this way and see if I could try my luck again at getting a shot...but this time their caravan and tent appeared empty but the television was still blaring!



I have loads more Camp Fucker stories to tell....
of women in full make up jobs - lipliner, lipgloss, fake eyelashes, the works! 
Who goes camping with their make up bag? 

I spotted more Female Camp Fuckers in the abultion blocks primping themselves to perfection with hairdriers and flatening irons, eye lash curlers and tooth whitening kits...I kid you not.

There were teenagers posing in short skirts and cropped tops, dangling earings and shoes with heels
*sigh*

Why pretend to like it?

All of these Camp Fakers, I mean Fuckers should just stay at home and go clubbing for feks sake.

8 comments:

Rogelio said...

good blog
greetings from Spain

Cheryl McCree said...

Televisions and satelittes at a camp site. Why don't they just stay at home?

Sally-Jane said...

Gilz you make me laugh!

Kathryn said...

Oh. My. God.

Un-freakin'-believable.

WHY? Satellite dishes???

WHY, WHY, WHY???

I...I don't know what else to say....

Mark Eames said...

So did you have any fun?

Mark Eames said...

So did you have any FUN?

Gillian said...

Of course I had fun. It was brilliant!

Gillian said...

Of course I had fun. It was brilliant!

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