Monday, 9 November 2009

Eternal Offensive Questions

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Who's got the answers?


otin said...

LMAO! Some real good questions! I always wondered exactly what cracking corn really was?

The Peach Tart said...

There are some good ones there.

blueviolet said...

That's true about sleeping like a baby. It's really not peaceful at all!

Stephanie said...

Why are there locks on the doors of convenience stores that are open 24 hours?

Kathryn said...

Oh, too funny! (Yes, I sang the songs....yes, they're the SAME, as any mommy knows!)

Lots of "food for thought" in these...unfortunately, I have none of the answers!

cat said...

Saw your comments about our family pics on Jeanette's blog. Great to meet you - I really need to meet more SA bloggers. I agree on all - but our dogs love it when you blow in their faces.

Gillian said...

pleased to meet you too Cat.

Anonymous said...

If a man is in the forest talking, and there's no women there to hear him, is he still wrong ??


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