Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Wicked Witch of the West

I am riddled with guilt!

Yesterday I snapped.

I had enough of Kaylin's constantly whining for everything!  she has become so cheeky and because she's so cute she gets away with it and yesterday I said "No more!".

I smacked her and put her on her "naughty mat" in the bathroom.

I could hear her screaming and yelling "MUMMY!!" over and over and I didn't budge.  I was so angry, I had enough.  I was adament that she would spend her full 3 minutes in time out. 

I have an egg timer in the bathroom for such occassions and I didn't even bother switching in on.

Eventually I could hear Kaylin in the bathroom  sobbing and trying to switch the egg time on.  Once the bell went off she kept saying "I'll be good, Mummy! I'll be GOOD!".

I didn't budge.

I made her stay in there for three minutes.

When I went in eventually she was blinded by snot and tears.  I explained to her why she was put in the naughty mat.  I made her apologies.  She hugged me and through her snot and tears said "Sowwy Mummy".

Gosh I feel like utter CRAP today thinking back on her little sad face. 

I can only imagine how I looked through her eyes - shouting and screaming like a banshee.  A giant witch, flinging her arms around bellowing at the top of her lungs and eventually smacking her. 

I must've frightened the shit out of her.

I wish I could take it all back.


JaneW said...

That is called a boundary! She crossed it and learned a lesson. Scary? Yes! But comforting none-the-less. Do not take it back, or feel wrong. It is ok. She will have learned a LOT from that. I have had those kind of moments too. I can them 'resets'. It's like rebooting the kids and getting them back in line when they have gone too far off center. I don;t like it either but sometimes it IS necessary.

Talk to her about what happened and why. Let her understand what CAUSES that and how SHE can prevent it from happening again. That way she can learn that it is not random scary burst of insanity but rather a cause and effect that she has influence over.


Blasé said...

Children need parents to be...parents. Which includes disciplining. The Key is to be in control of your emotions when applying said discipline. But, don't worry, it will not "scar" her because you failed in that department. You obviously have a good relationship with her. Mistakes happen, as long as you apologize and explain, the relationship will actually strengthen.

f8hasit said...

Parenting is tough sometimes.
BUT, folowing through with what you SAID you were going to do is a good lesson. Both for you, and for Kaylin.

Too many people waffle, and then no lesson is learned.

It'll be alright. Don't beat yourself up too hard. It's hard to keep an even keel. Just make some cupcakes or somthing fun today, she (and you) will put it behind you.

Mandy said...

Nothing wrong with what you did my friend. You have to be cruel to be kind. And she needs to learn that you are the boss and not her. If you don't take control now you will really be sorry later when she gets older.
In a couple of years time you will look back and be gratefull that you took control now. I speak from experience
"Beeg Hug" x x

lettice said...

Personally I don't think you should feel too bad. Maybe I need to be a little harder on Logan? (he is a boy?) And he is beyond stubborn?

I think as horrible as those moments are for us now, we really don't want to repeat all of them when, in the same degree when they become teenagers. So for me, Logan has to learn now.

Mick said...

One very important thing is you must not apologise........yes you were angry and you maybe should explain to her what made you so angry. But you are the parent and the one to control situations, as someone says try and make some time to do fun things together. She probably wants more attention.....Megan amuses herself mainly, Kaylin has not learned that yet........KEEP STRONG..IT'LL BE OK.

Laura said...

I have been there Gillian. Kiara will push and push and push and eventually this happens :(

And then I feel like crap BUT equilibrium is restored!

It sometimes has to be done!


Gloria said...

We've all been there and I too am haunted, many many years later by certain episodes in the past but you know what, as long as you had good intentions at the time and can learn from them then really, it's all good. Anyway, who said that tough love, at times, isn't good!!

Girl, be kind to you!! . . and a big hug to cutie Kaylin!!!!


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