Wednesday, 3 August 2011

True Story ....I Shit You Not!

On Saturday I was out shopping and spotted a handbag that someone had left behind a trolley in the parking lot.

My first instinct was to look around to see who was perhaps in the process of packing their groceries into their boot but there was no one to be found. The handbag was abandoned. My second instinct was that it was a trap.  My lucky, some Plonker put it there to see who’d come and get it. Then my third instinct was it was Candid Camera waiting to catch some unsuspecting bugger (that would be me) to make their name arse on national telly. 

Anyhoo after about 2 seconds of comtimplation, I went up and quickly took the handbag and went back to the car. As I guiltily rummaged through a strange woman's handbag to see if I could find out who it belonged to, I came across an ID book, drivers license, purse with money and a few credit cards and department store account cards, a make up bag.  But no physical address or contact telephone numbers so I could return it. There was a cellphone though, so I phoned the last number dialed on the phone – no answer. I phoned the second last number dialed and got a friend who told me the name of the owner of the handbag.  Lets call her Joan. 

Joan's friend said she would phone Joan on her landline and get her to call me on her cellphone. Great!

Then I killed the call and, as I was slipping it into my pocket, the phone fell and the battery fell out! No damage to the phone, but when I put it all back together, I realized I didn’t have a pin code number to turn the phone back on. Now I was stuck!  How was Joan's friend gonna ring me?

The owner of the handbag was going to phone her number and get her voicemail and won’t be able to get hold of me. However, I did remember to give Joan's friend my mobile number but 3 hours later no and still no one had called me back! 

If it was my handbag I'd be frantically searching for it.

I rummaged through the handbag again to find some more clues as to who I could contact.

I managed to find another telephone number written on a slip of paper inside her wallet.  She had Joan's home number.  At last!

I had to call a few times before someone answered. Joan finally picked up and I told her that I found her handbag and wanted to return it. She was thrilled to bits and had a Scots accent!

Turns out the owner of the handbag is a fellow Scots woman.  She comes from the SAME TOWN in East Ayrshire that I come from. Her mum comes from the same town as my mum in Kilmarnock. Her dad comes from the same village that my dad was born in Hurlford, Ayrshire!  Hurlford has a population of like, 10.

I shit you not! Small world, eh?

When we got home from dropping the bag off, we found a dog in our garden. Who knows how the dog got there? He was too fat to fit through our palisade fencing, its too high for him to jump (we have six foot walls with electric fence on top) and no spaces for him to wiggle his body under the wall. It was another mystery. 

The was definitely someone's pet, well-looked after as he was fat as a barrel and wearing an SPCA tag with number on it. We called the emergency number on the SPCA tag and they gave us the name and number of the dog’s owner. They lived around the corner from us and, as they were not answering their telephone, we decided to drop the dog off.  

In the meantime the dog was making himself right at home, eating all the cat food and exploring the house, playing with the girls and slobbering all over their faces.  Urgh!  I just wanted to do to find his way home in case he pissed on my carpets.

The dog couldn't stay here.  Home he goes!

When we got to the dog owner's home, all the lights were on and the front door was open but no one responded to the door bell, or hooting the car horn. Eventually after shouting a few choice words, a man came stumbling out. He was pissed as a fart and was so drunk he was stumbling around his garden trying to get to us, falling over plants and shrubs in the process. 

We asked if the dog was his, he practically mauled my husband! Hugging him tightly like a long-lost buddy and thanking him over and over (if he could’ve kissed my hubby he would’ve). He even told my husband "I love you!" and that he should come and visit him and Mr Bojangles (the dog) anytime! 

The dog owner said he had a fight with his Mrs and he left the house earlier in the day but couldn't remember where he left the dog.  How can you NOT remember where you left your fucking dog??? Creepy!!! 

Rapid Exit Stage Left. 

As I was preparing the supper last night, I heard a tooting at our gate.  It was Joan.  The lady who's handbag I returned. 

In order to say thank you for returning all her belongings in tact,  she presented me with a house plant (which I will no doubt execute for my lack of green fingers) and a box of chocolates (just what I need with me on constant diet).  

How thoughtful was that??

What was it that on Saturday we were finding everyone’s lost property?


Musings said...

I came across your blog and I'm so happy I did! Will be checking back often! And maybe the universe is testing far so good keep it up.

Kim :)

The Accidental Somebody said...

I'm such an idiot, I signed in under a blog name I don't even use anymore! Anyway, I'm not "Musings" I'm The Accidental Somebody...just found your blog yadda yadda, I will be back often, yadda yadda yadda.

Kim :)

JaneF said...

Wow what an incredible story... and Gil you certainly lead a very full, fun and interest life. I love your stories!

One Stiletto At A Time said...

Very entertaining blog, seems like you were St Anthony of the day helping all these people find what they lost!

*^_^* said...

Wonderful! Keep it coming! :)

cat said...

Wow, that was a weird day. I think it was serendipity that you found that bag and met a fellow scottsman. ehm scottslass??

Divemaster GranDad said...

Good on you for persisting with your endeavours to find the handbag's owner....Noddy badge in the mail ;-)

Leah said...

I think you deserve a Blue Peter badge for your valiant efforts as well. I bet you're still getting over the co-incidence about the links to Scotland with Joan. Are you BF's now?

A lovely story though, thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

blueviolet said...

What a bizarre set of circumstances! You are such a sweet person to return that handbag and dog!

Akelamalu said...

Crikey what a day! I had to laugh when you dropped Joan's mobile phone - sorry. ;)

Brian Miller said...

ha. funny adventure...glad you got it back to her...some coincidence eh?

Nat said...

Wow! That was quite a day... if it had all happened on a Friday you could have called it Freaky Friday, but as it was a Saturday... Strange Saturday?

Mark said...

Such great stories! And I'm so proud of you for returning the bag. Apparently it was an ugly one, no doubt!

Diego Sousa said...

whoa! what a busy day!

Lesley said...

You're awesome. A lot of people would keep the purse and the dog. Or just let the dog wander off.
And that is really amazing that you and Joan had so many links!

Naila Moon of the Grey Wolf said...

Weird day for you but something to certainly blog about.HA!
~Naila Moon

Cyn said...

Wow amazing story -- definitely some good karma coming your way!!! said...

Those chocolates were well deserved. I would no doubt execute the plant too, especially when en route to the chocolate.
Sometimes it pays to be a do-gooder. Sometimes you get mauled by a drunken creep.
Be well.

Self Sagacity said...

So fantastic what you did for the woman. I am known to be leaving things on the roof of my car and driving off too. I can imagine how happy she felt that you'd found her purse.

Screaming Sardine said...

Wow, that is a weird day...but fun and funny, too. Totally "Twilight Zone" about where the Scots woman is from, and where her parents are from!

Tracy Screaming Sardinev

Copyboy said...

Wow! That is a small world. And such a nice reward plant.

nitebyrd said...

You must have a magical touch! Or lost things know where to go to be found by someone trustworthy and with a good heart!

The Frog Queen said...

What a day! Thanks for sharing it with all of us! And, is a very small world sometimes.

Love your blog. So happy I happened upon it!


Pam said...

Wow - what a day! Too bad the dog owner wasn't as awesome as the handbag owner seems to be. Poor dog! Thanks for a great read.

Monkey Man said...

What a fun and wild coincidence.

Melanie said...

What a day! You are a good person for taking care of all that business!!

KrippledWarrior said...

how fortunate for those people, that you're such a sweetheart.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@Musings @Jane @OSAAT @ Naila Moon of the Grey Wolf Thanx for popping in and commenting!

@Cat @Lesley very odd!

@DivemasterGD I will wear it with pride!

@Leah we an not BFs we are BFFs :-)

Akelamalu it was a typical ADSL move!!

@Cyn I sure hope so.

@RawknRobyn mauled is the word.

@Self Sagacity thanx for popping by and I've also left a few things on the top of my car and driven off!!!

@Sardine *twilight zone music*

@TFQ Awesome! thanx for commenting and visiting. Be sure to come again. I mean visit again

@MM wild indeed

@KW awwww fanx!


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