Friday, 18 November 2011

A Shoegasm and Holiday Gifts for Naughty Chicks and Dudes

 

My featured Friday Follower this week is *drum roll please*  LafemmeRoar

Ho! Ho! Ho, Plonkers!

Tis that time of year and Santa's making a list and he's doubling checking to make sure that all naughty chicks and dudes get just what THEY DESERVE this year.

Naughty dudes will get: 

  • a limp schlong for the rest of their fornicating lives
  • electronic devices that will never work
  • a tattoo on their forehead that says "I AM NO GOOD"
  • their favorite sports team to lose every game
  • their butt kicked to the curb
  • Crazy Chicks after their pound of flesh
  • vasectomies so they won't ever spread their "bad seed"
  • orgasms that feel like a kick in the balls
  • blindness at the sight of T and A
  • elephantiasis of the testes and shrinkage of the schlong

Naughty chicks will get:
  • PMS everyday
  • a big pimple on her nose every weekend
  • fat every time she looks at food
  • swollen ankles and feet when she wears those sexy strappy sandals
  • a Cosmo "cocktail" that tastes like a "cumshot"
  • a bouquet of thorny, poop roses
  • fake boobies that look like pancakes
  • chocolates that taste like liver
  • extreme gas when out on a date
  • perfume that smells like ripe arm pits

If someone has been naughty to you this year, make sure you give their name to Santa.

Now it's your turn ... what should Santa give the naughty ones this year?


So this week I have offered you some cute Vintage heels to oogle over.  Remember to take my button, link up yer heels and remember to tell me you did so and I'll come visit.


Cute Vintage heels from ModCloth.com

Polka Dot $34.99 ModCloth.com
Vintage Upper Echelon Heels $44.99

Floral Vintage Heels $89.99

13 comments:

Dazee Dreamer said...

those shoes are awesome.

Melanie said...

do want shoe #2!

G-Man said...

Jillie Bean...
Phuque You...:P

Mo said...

I've been good honest.

Brian Miller said...

oo i better make sure i am good...

Boobies said...

These consequences are pretty much bad enough, that I'm going to TRY to be good all year long. TRY.

PS: I hope Santa brings me the vintage heels from ModCloth.com. :)

Pearl said...

Oh, those chartreuse -- can I say that here?! -- heels are fabulous!!

Pearl

Anne Helm said...

I think I put the button on my blog but I have been known to be wrong before :)

Xmas Dolly said...

Hey Sweetie, how's goin'? Thanks for stopping by. Love the shoes. Not sure about the last one. Maybe if I had a top that matched, but alas I no longer wear heels since I had back probs. I got a phobia of falling. Oh well, you have a great weekend too! hugzzzzzzz me

Anne Helm said...

I knew I would mess it up, lol..

lafemmeroar said...

@Boobies

I'm in with Santa. I'll let him know about the vintage heels. What's your size? :)

Not So Simply Single said...

Love the gold/mustard shoes. I LOVE SHOES...mouth is salivating. Girl, we need to combine shoes...

What size are you? I am 7 1/2 USA.

Lisa
xo

A Daft Scots Lass said...

@G-Man have a nice day to you too.

@Dazee @Melanie @Pearl @Anne @XmasDolly Next time, sign up!!

@Mo @Boobies I'll be sure to tell Santa

@Brian Santa's watching...

@lafemmeroar I'm a SA size 4 thanx :-)

@Not So simply Single I'm a SA Size 4 - not sure what that would be in USA sizes.

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