Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Doggles and Secretary's Day

These adorable canine sunglasses are apparently the latest in dog wear, providing 100 per cent UV protection. All Doggles have anti-fog lenses and no gaps to let in stray light, dirt or insects (Jaysus, we wouldn't want Fido filling them with soil when he's digging a hole or getting fogged up if he chases a rabbit!). £19.95


An alternative way to Light Yer Fag?

Avocado Saver: What keeps you awake at night? Worries about your job in these credit crunch times, or how to stop your avocados wobbling over and turning brown in the fridge? Well, if it's the latter, you can rest easy because this patented gizmo keeps the lonesome leftover half comfortable in its 'adjustable strap' until you're ready to eat it next day. The ultimate gadget that you didn't even know you needed. £2.73


Dryear Ear Dryer: A machine to dry your ears after you've had a bath or been for a swim. Apparently, 'drying your ears has never been simpler or more effective'. Or, at £69, more expensive. The battery-operated device slots into the ear canal and blows hot air. Just to add to the lunacy, the instructions advise you to dry your ears with a towel first! £69


Glove and Boot Dryer: Another piece of utter clutter, this one has a built-in fan to circulate air around your wet gloves and boots. Apparently, this 'indispensable tool' keeps your gloves dry in the winter and odour-free during the summer. Put them on the radiator instead!
£14.95

The Loo Read: This ridiculous gadget is supposed to be 'perfect for reading papers in the loo'. Available in broadsheet or tabloid versions, it seems you can also use it to 'do puzzles or apply your make-up'. It 'provides a platform for almost anything'. £59.99

Pet Massager - Is your guinea pig in need of some 'me-time'? Is your Labrador frazzled after a demanding day? Soothe stressed pets with this massager which 'works to melt away tensions and relieve sore muscles and joints that come with a full day's play or advanced age'. £4.97


Motorised Ice-Cream Cone: For those lazy Bastids to twist their wrist, just pop your cone inside this battery-operated turning cone and it will do all the work. You can even put it in the dishwasher, because washing up would be far too much trouble. £4.99

Pizza Fork : This 'effortless way to eat pizza' has been slashed from its original price of £4.99 down to £1.49 - highlighting just how 'must-have' it isn't! A device to help you cut through crust and topping with ease. Funnily enough, those historical implements, the knife and fork, do much the same thing. £1.49


Happy Secretaries Day!

20 comments:

W.C.Camp said...

Wow I actually thought that avocado had a strap on it and I wondered how it worked - DUH??? And keep that pizza thing away from me, I would cut the end of tongue off for sure!
W.C.C.

cat said...

Noo that ice cream one really is ridiculous - ok, so are most of the others, that one just stood out for me.

jacksofbuxton said...

I always have a laugh reading through the freebie bits in the papers/magazines where they hawk tat like this.

Dry your ears?Use your towel for god's sake.

Melanie said...

You know what the most infuriating thing about all of these inventions is? I didn't think of them, and someone is capitalizing on some really silly ideas and not me!!

*^_^* said...

Wonderful! Fantastic!

The Glebe Blog said...

You missed out the 'Ultimate Solution Comfort Seat' or have you posted it before ?

It's an automatic arse wipe and can be yours for $1099.95

Love the post,I'll have some of that Ice Cream revolver.

Leah said...

You been browsing on the "Iwantoneofthose" website?

Joshua said...

As a person who cuts his pizza and eats it with a fork, that pizza fork is awesome. I'll take two, please.

Sausage Fingers said...

Funny thing is that half of these could pass for sex toys....

Mark Himes said...

Thank God they invented an Avocado Saver. You have no idea the stress I've been under worrying about those things.
Thanks!
m.

Stephanie D said...

Great finds! So funny!

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Wow, pizza fork? I could have made MILLIONS in college.

Oh, wait, we were all barbarians and ate with our hands.... uncultured swine...

Copyboy said...

You must make this a regular post. Love the Doggles!!!

Ryan said...

There goes ma christmas budget although I dinny think the fag lighter would work too well ower here!

Cyn said...

Okay -- this may be my most favorite blog posting EVER -- agreed, you must make this a regular thing.

The loo reader -- haha, but I have to admit that for a nanosecond I found it cool.
The motorized ice cream thingy-ma-bob equate how lazy humans can be.
The avocado thing sadly makes tons of sense to me -- I could live on guacamole.
Funny -- the doggles are the most practical... LOL!

Dazee Dreamer said...

Those were freaking awesome. I can't believe someone would be so lazy as to not be able to turn their own ice cream cone. Thanks for making my day.

Mama Spaghetti said...

Wow! Those are some real winners right there. My favorite is the avocado saddle, though. What the heck?

Mo said...

Where do you find this stuff?

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm trying to decide which is the most useless. I'd say it's the avacado-saver. I never have avacado to save. I eat it all in one sitting. Plus, it gets brown and yucky overnight.

Fun post. It's amazing what people will pour money into.
xoRobyn

Babes Mami said...

my future step mom is getting her two dogs doggles for when they ride on the motorcycle. I found it hilarious!

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